Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Wednesday update

Hello children.
So far it's been a quiet / restful Xmas and I'm really enjoying my time off.
Today for example I didn't get dressed until 17:15 - which was awesome.
I have watched Scott Pilgrim vs The World which was brilliant.
I've had delivery of three t-shirts from Last Exit To Nowhere which is a superb site.
Tomorrow night I am having a drink with my LGF and then on Friday we're spending the day together.
So far so funky.

Hope you've all had a peaceful and pleasant time. More updates soon.

Peace x.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

An apology

Sorry I haven't posted for ages - not that anyone apart from 'Anonymous' missed me.
Not much been going on really with the run up to Christmas.
Jake has been performing in Peter Pan at the Lowry, loving it and doing really well.
I've been trying to keep the football training going and its been alright but my Christmas belly seems to have turned up early.
I've been reminded that even new relationships are hard work.
I've been dealing with all the emotions involved in my son being around another man (my ex's boyfriend) and this time of year it makes all those sorts of things even harder.
I will be spending Xmas day alone and not seeing Jake until Boxing day.
Now I'm not saying that for any kind of sympathy or anything - actually a small part of me is looking forward to a day of 'me' time - but these are the sorts of things I've been dealing with hence the lack of enthusiasm for posting.
If I don't post before I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Peace.

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

A thought provoking post

Well, it got me thinking, I don't know if it will do the same for you unwashed, unenlightened lot. (hhmmm... I suspect lesson one in "How To Increase Your Blog Readership" is probably don't insult your readers... but hey ho).
Anyway. I was sitting at home last night thinking about this and that as you do, when my mind wandered onto the subject of uniqueness. Now bear with me on this. Imagine we start off at the highest level and we are going to 'drill down' into more and more detail to try and work out how unique we are. I started off by thinking about all the 38 year old males in the world.
Millions, right? So we drill down deeper. How many 38 year old males have red hair? (No jokes please). Remember, this is out of the whole planet's population. Let's go deeper - how many 38 year old males with red hair are separated? How many are separated and have a son? How many are separated with a son and work in I.T?
You get where I'm going with this? I was trying to work out to which level of detail I would have to go to to get to the point where I was completely unique? Oh yes I know everyone is unique in their own way, we're all special and wonderful and no one is like us and we are the bestest in the world blah blah blah but would I be surprised if I could find out that there were 6534 people who were 38, male, with red hair, separated, with a son, working in I.T?
So what would make us even more unique?

As I said, it got me thinking before it gave me a combination of a headache and vertigo... but I don't know what YOU lot think. So why not tell me?

Comments to the usual place....

Monday, 22 November 2010

Nearly a week...

... since my last post - I do apologise.
The fact is I'm getting back into the same routine as all you lot out there (probably).
Getting up, feeling knackered, going to work, feeling grumpy, racing home, feeling frantic, sorting out tea, feeling rushed, having a drink, feeling tired, going to bed.
So that's really been my life since my last post. A couple of notable events...

My bestest friend Mr. P. Senior popped over to see me on Sunday. He was in Buxton with his family and could spare a few hours to come say hello. He hasn't seen me up here since the whole break up thing so it was awesome he could come say hello. I had Jake this weekend so the three of us went and played basketball in the park (Jake's idea) then went to the pub for a pint and a Sunday lunch. So that was a really nice day.
Sunday evening Jake went back to his mums so I spent the evening ironing and watching House.
This Saturday is number one son's 12th birthday. So this week I need to sort something out as a present. I'm actually paying for a paintball party for him and some friends, but that's not until 11th of December so I need to get something for him to open on Saturday. I feel an online shop coming methinks....

Anyway - I hope you had a nice weekend. I'll update more often, promise.

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

A sucker for technology

Saturday was a day of housework and football, so not worth blogging about really.
Sunday however was a really good day.
It started with my LGF and I going to The Chill Factore so I could buy her a new jacket. She has used my winter / snow jacket recently and really liked it so we went to get her a similar one.
We also stopped for lunch at Chiquitos, a chain tex-mex type of place. I had the enchiladas. They were filled with slow cooked cajun beef and were awesome.
We then decided with nothing else to do til the evening we would go to the local and sit with some magazines and cold Corona beer. It was a really, really nice afternoon with some of her friends coming in and hanging out. It was a proper 'couples' kind of afternoon and something I haven't done for ages.
Sunday evening was a time of jumping up and down, flapping my arms, crouching down and lots of side stepping. No, my LGF and I hadn't confused our copy of the Karma Sutra with an exercise manual, I actually took delivery of an Xbox Kinect on Saturday night.
For those that don't know it turns the normally mild mannered Xbox into a vindictive fitness machine.
Basically it removes all need for a controller when playing (Kinect enabled) games. There is a camera that tracks your movement so whatever you do in the privacy of your living room gets shown on the screen (like my friend Mr. P. Junior's video camera - dirty boy).
If you know about the Nintento piss... or squirt... or wee or whatever it's called it's like that but without having told hold the little white plastic dildo.
Anyway - after much moving around of furniture in my (small) living room and moving around in front of the camera to set it up I played some of the games. Goodness. I thought I was fit. But it gets you jumping and swaying and side stepping and crouching and sweating and swearing... but the kicker, the thing that actually cracked me up, is that during a game it takes photos of you at random points and then displays them to you on the screen. It. Is. Hilarious. I hate my photo being taken at the best of times but seeing myself displayed in various poses of indignity and minciness really was funny. (I look quite camp when jumping up and down on the spot - who knew?)
I'll post a more in depth review when I have taken delivery of Kinect Sports (which should be turning up this weekend) but so far I think it's going to prove quite a laugh.
Have a nice Tuesday.

Monday, 15 November 2010

Friday

So Thursday night I had number one son staying with me. This is obviously a good thing but the downside is that I then get to work late the next day (usually by about 20 minutes) and then I have to make that time up aftwards. I had dinner plans with my LGF Friday night so was fretting a little bit about getting back in time to clean myself and be ready for our date. It got to just before four in the afternoon in the office when there was a click and a whirr and everything went black. Well, dark. The power had gone. Now I haven't been any office for a while where there has been a power cut like that. The last time was about four years ago and the power went off for like fifteen minutes and then came back on. This didn't happen on Friday. I showed my level of professionalism by wandering around the office asking aloud "so should we go home then?" while my collegues carried on trying to work on laptops with the battery power.
And of course my bladder decided this was the perfect time to alert me to the fact it needed emptying. Our convenience is basically a cupboard with no windows. So no windows plus no power equals pitch black toileting. NOT a fun time. I used my phone to light the way but it goes back into standby every 5 seconds so it was like trying to hit the target in a slow motion strobe light.
Anyway, eventually at about half four the announcement was made that the power wouldn't be available again until at least half past seven that evening so we were free to go home. As I was looking forward to a) the weekend 2) seeing my LGF that night and d) a lovely curry I was out the door and on the motorway before my working pals could finish the sentence "have a nice weekend Simon".
We had decided to try a local curry house called "Masterchef" which is in walking distance and that neither of us had tried. So stomachs rumbling and mouths salivating (well mine was - my LGF is far too ladylike to have the same sort of bodily malfunctions as me) we arrived and ordered. Now I'm not a massive fan of spice (be it spicey food, Old Spice, or the Spice girls) so I usually order things that are flavoursome as opposed to raw magma. This is what I did this particular evening but unfortunately the chef seemed to have some kind of vendetta as he overdid the chilli on everything. Even the usually tasty but heatless mushroom bhaji was like eating hot, soggy coals. My LGF can handle more spice than I and even she said it was too hot to really enjoy. So we left unsatisfied and annoyed but educated in the fact that Masterchef is shite.
Finally, we adjourned to the local for a few drinks and that helped the mood somewhat.
Bells = awesome.

Saturday's post to follow....

Preview post

I started to write a post about my weekend but realised that too much had happened for one post. Here's a preview of what will be coming up in the next couple of posts:

An early exit from work due to a power cut...
gasp as I fumble around and try and pee in the dark!

Masterchef fails to deliver a nice curry...
laugh as my mouth gets as hot as Satan's own kitchen!

A suprise delivery on Saturday night ...
coo as you try and work out what that means!

A wonderful Sunday with my LGF filled with coat buying, enchiladas eating, flying children watching, pub visiting...
sigh as I tell you how wonderful the day was!

A Sunday evening of furniture moving, jumping and flapping around, and seeing myself on TV looking like a tit...
scream "what the what!" as you wonder what the hell I'm talking about!

Stay tuned folks...

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Radio 1 and groundhog day

This new company I work for has some very relaxed attitudes to how the office works.
For example I have come to work today in a pair of tracksuit trousers, trainers, and a (free) sports shirt from my employer. It looks like I'm dressed for housework! (No, I'm not a cleaner here, shut up). As part of that relaxed attitude we have the radio on in the office and the station of choice (not mine I hasten to add) is Radio 1 - and it's starting to drive me mad.
I'm not a massive fan of the more modern dance / R&B / pop stuff in the charts (do they still call it 'the charts'?) and it's really starting to grate on my nerves. You can pretty much write a playlist of all the current modern stuff and by the end of the day you will have heard those songs at least twice.
I understand Radio 1 is for the more modern gentleman and it wants to play the popular stuff but do they really have to play it over and over and over again? It really does make you feel like Bill Murray when he wakes up in the same bed to the same song every day.
It had one redeeming day last Friday. Because of the journalism strike (I assume) they left the whole days music to the listening audience. They do something called "You Take Control" or something where every day at a certain time, for ten minutes, everyone can text in any song they want to hear and it gets played. Well last Friday they did that for the whole day and it was awesome. There were classic tracks from the 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's and whatever the current decade is to be called. Not once did I hear some one-hit-wonder screaming over beeps and screeches about being drunk like a G6 (whatever the fcuk that means) or raising a drink to the douchbags (seriously, a song celebrating douche bags? Jebus...)
So. Radio 1. Not for me.

Oh, and that stupid Firework song... cr@p

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Blog reading and difficult relationships

This is just a quick post while I'm running my sons bath (that's bath pronounced 'barth' not 'bath' even if I am up north).
As I'm back at work now I can catch up on the blog reading that I have been so remiss on. One of my favourites is Well Done Fillet written by Manuel The Waiter (someone who, even though he's a dirty red :-) I still consider a friend). If you've not checked out his blog before I highly recommend it. But there's others too like Stephen Fry's blog (which I actually read using his snazzy iPad app.) and my lovely girlfriends Thoughts
I would say mine too, but as you're here you already know how awesome it is.
It's been a difficult couple of days. Jakes mum and I had a conversation about Christmas and it got a little heated. I won't go into details but it is hard for me... No, I'll be fair, it's hard for us to remain civil for Jakes sake. There are still so many emotions involved that they can come to the surface very easily and last night was one of those times.
I think after a further text conversation today we have regained our equilibrium and we're back to being polite and factual. It helps if we don't actually talk to each other and keep all communication to email or text - it keeps us at one remove from each other and saves the rawness of the emotion. No real point to this little ramble, just thought I'd share a little of the difficulties separated parents go through. Have a nice evening. More soon.
Update - a friend of my lovely girlfriend (from now on to be known as my LGF) has created a new blog so I will happily recommend it here. Have a read of My Weird Yet Wonderful Life


Monday, 8 November 2010

A proper post-working week weekend

Yes that was a mouthful wasn't it, sorry.
As I've not had Jake all week I was looking forward to seeing him this weekend. On Saturday we had a lazy morning, then went to play basketball at a nearby park with a hoop. It's his latest 'thing' and apparantly he's captain of his class / house / college team. So we went and played some one on one before lunch. After lunch he just wanted to hang out with his friends so I didn't see him for a few hours.
Sunday was nice, we had a lazy morning again, then more basketball, then a walk to the shops and back then he had Stagecoach (his performing arts school). After that I decided to take him to Pizza Hut for tea for a change which was nice. One thing I learnt however - DON'T use the salad bit where you can buy an eat-as-much-as-you-like bowl and gorge on green stuff. Kids are given free reign by their parents to go get their own salad and you can guess what happens when 5, 6, and 7 year olds are let loose to fling salad around, try bits and spit it out etc. Not a pretty sight.
Now I'm back at work I remember how quick weekends go past. It only feels like half an hour ago I was sat at this desk. I have a feeling I will get on OK here, if I can sort out the journey home. It took me 35 minutes this morning which is more than bearable, but on Friday it took me an hour and a half again to get home. That sucks. I'm going to try a slightly different route tonight so fingers crossed.
This week - Manchester derby on Wednesday night, Jake's parents evening on Thursday (I can't go - I can't get back from here in time so his mum will go and let me know how he's got on) and that's about it. More nonsense soon.

Update: I've re-discovered the small joy of live web cams (no, not those sort). When using these things before the network response hasn't been brilliant and so there was a lot of lag, kept on freezing / buffering etc. but just now I went to the BBC Radio 1 live web cam to watch the character "Chloe" from 24. Very quickly it becomes strangely addictive - knowing you're watching someone do something live. I know this is the sort of attraction that things like Big Brother played on and even though I couldn't stand it, I do get the appeal for some people.
So there we go... when I'm on lunch or on a quiet period I'll be investigating some more live web cams... (no, not those sort!)

Friday, 5 November 2010

So that's the first week done

Its been a long hard week. It's not just the fact that I've gone back to work after 4 months out, it's also the way this job is. The journey is a bit of a nightmare in the evenings, the hours are long, and it's always stressful settling into a new place.
Because I wanted to take this week to settle in properly, I haven't had Jake with me all week and I've missed him too. I know (I hope!) that in a couple more weeks I'll be properly settled and I'll have got into a good routine especially with Jake. But I can honestly say I'm really looking foward to this weekend!
Not much else going on outside of work - I went to training again last night to test my leg and it's not good. I stayed for the full session to keep the numbers fair, but I was only jogging round and not working very hard. As hard as it is I really think I'm going to have to have another two weeks of doing nothing to rest it properly. One thing that did make me feel good was after the session, the few of us that were there were talking and the manager was discussing how the past couple of games have gone (they've lost them both). Someone said "We've really missed you in the middle Simon" (meaning in the centre of midfield) and everyone there agreed and the manager himself said "God yeah, that's obvious, there's a big whole in the middle of the park at the moment". This was good for me because while I'm out injured I am so worried about my place being taken by someone else but hearing that makes me think I'll be OK. Still really frustrated though.
Finally a note on my hands - I suffer from some sort of ezcema and the skin on my hands is very sore, sensitive, and (excuse the stomach churning image) peels away easily. I have not idea what brings it on and although I think stress makes it worse I'm not 100% certain. I've tried different creams and some Chinese herb remedy but nothing seems to work and at the moment they are bad. So I'm asking my listeners... do you have any ideas??
Have a nice weekend everyone.

Monday, 1 November 2010

First day done...

...and it was a long one.
My hours are 8.30 - 5.30 which even if I hadn't been out of work for ages would still be a shock to the system. Still, it's better than being out of work permanently so I will be making the best of it. There will be some adjustment needed and I can quite happily accept that but it's going to be harder seeing as much of Jake AND my lovely girlfriend as I'm used to and to be honest dear listeners that sucks.
So today was all about company inductions and meeting people. I lost count of how many people I did meet and I can only remember one name - but seeing as he's the MD that's the one that matters!
My new boss is a nice enough bloke and then other guys in my team seem normal enough (for I.T people!) so I don't doubt I'll settle in ok.
I'm hoping that by the end of this week I'll be used to the journey and be settled in enough to feel relaxed.
No interesting characters to speak of yet, but no doubt they will be coming out of the woodwork soon enough. Stay tuned.

Saturday, 30 October 2010

Things to do to amuse yourself

I was sitting thinking about my new job starting next week and pondering office behaviour. This led me onto thinking about how far I'd go in public with little things designed to confuse / amuse strangers. Nothing rude or aggressive and nothing that involves anyone else. Just little behaviour quirks. So I made a little list and I challenge you all to try and do at least one of them this week. Also please feel free to add your own. So, try these:

- When entering a lift with other people go stand in the corner facing the corner and don't move.
- When sat at your desk at work, or when out and about, pretend you've heard your phone ring and pick it up and answer it, but then look confused when no one is there (this will have a good effect if you do it two or three times over a few minutes)
- Walk with a pronounced limp. But when someone asks what's wrong tell them you're practising for a role as a pirate
- Pretend you've heard a noise and ask the person next to you if they can hear it too.
- Skip somewhere
- When talking to someone keep glancing over their shoulder and when asked why you keep doing it say "doing what?"
- When in your car on your own and you've stopped at traffic lights just sit there and scream (having the window open optional)
- When being served in a shop or pub gently sway from side to side. When asked why you're doing it say "doing what?"
- Act with massive confusion when someone asks you for something very simple and basic (e.g. "Can you pass me that book?" "Book?!? That BOOK?!?!")
- Celebrate any news like an American footballer just scoring a touchdown (whoops, cheers, "Yeah!! Alright!!" - ANY news)

Have fun...

Friday, 29 October 2010

3 days to go...

...Until I start my new job. Still got weird feelings - I mean I've been moaning about being bored and lonely during the week because I'm off work but now I'm going back to work I feel like I'm going to miss the time to myself. Stupid I know.
And going back to work will present it's own problems - working out the best plan for having Jake overnight, traffic problems, being nice to people in the office... But I know all these are secondary to the fact I will be working again which of course is the best thing.
My mum is here tonight after bringing back Jake from London and then when she's gone tomorrow I'll have a couple of days to gather my thoughts and get on top of housework etc.
Oh, and it's my lovely girlfriends birthday next week so I'll be getting her something nice.
Anyway - if I don't post over the weekend, stay tuned next week as I'm sure I'll have loads to post about.
Have a nice weekend all.

Saturday, 23 October 2010

Some good news...

It was a strange day yesterday. In fact it's been a strange couple of days.
I had an interview on Thursday for a sportswear company. Not one of the big boys, but an exciting company nonetheless.
I thought it went well, I got on with the guy who would have been my boss, and the thought of working for the company was very exciting.
Yesterday was the first anniversary of my dads passing. I was fine for most of the morning but then on the drive to the second interview for the sportswear company (turns out they liked me and thought I was worth seeing again) I did get a little upset. I was thinking about the drink I was going to have with him when I got back to the pub, which got me thinking about the wake...anyway I didn't get to the point of crying but it was close.
So after a quick, perfectly timed phone call from Mr. P. Senior (thanks mate) I went in to the second interview. Oh, at the first interview I was suited and booted as is the custom at interviews but the office is a dress down office and they said to turn up to the second one in clothes I normally wear. Now I knew they didn't mean what I normally wear at weekends (chaps and a pair of swimming goggles) but it still felt strange going to and interview in jeans and a sweatshirt. To cut a long story short (too late!) they offered me the job and I accepted. I start a week on Monday. Of course I'm very happy to be getting the last piece of my life back on track but I'm also nervous and a little scared. I think those feelings are normal though.
Oh and the job is as a software developer - so basically it's the stuff I've been doing anyway which is cool.

**note**
In case you're wondering why I haven't mentioned the name of the company I don't feel it would be very professional for someone to be searching for the company name and come across this blog! It happened at my last job and I don't wanna make that same mistake!

Have a nice weekend everybody.

Friday, 22 October 2010

An anniversary

Today it is one year since my father passed away. At the time of writing this, I feel ok. I'm obviously more concerned about my mum and sister than myself and to be honest I wasn't too worried about how I would feel today. This might change later when given the chance to reflect but I think I'll be ok. One thing I will definitely be doing later is having a 'club double' - this is the drink my dad used to drink all the time when he was at his bowls club. It's basically a large scotch and coke.
I don't think I've posted this before but I will admit that I'm glad he wasn't around to see the way my marriage ended. It would have broken his heart to see me in so much pain and although he wasn't a person who communicated or showed emotions very well I know he would have been there for me. But to save him those feelings is the one small benefit of what happened.
Anyway. Today I will mostly be feeling anxious & nervous - I'll give more details in my next post.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Childhood games

I was going to write a post about childhood games, stolen from an idea from my lovely girlfriend... But that would not be fair on her. She'll be posting that on her blog soon enough. I did title the post the way I did just to tease her though.
Anyway - this post is actually about Japan, and my desire to go visit.
I love so much about what I know of Japan. The culture, the history, the etiquette, the food, technology, Manga, the language... Loads. But it's hard for me to ever picture myself there. My friend Mr. P. Junior has been there for the World Cup in 2002 and I know he enjoyed it. But I've never been the sort of person who has the courage to travel like that on my own. At the moment due to no job and my recent house sale I have both time & money enough to take a trip like that - but the thought of me actually doing it just doesn't compute. Organising the flights, hotels, having the courage to go out in a country where the language doesn't even resemble English (as in a lot of European countries)... It's all too much. And this frustrates me as there have been a lot of things in my life that I haven't done for precisely these feelings. It's ok for someone to say "just do it, be brave" etc. but saying and doing are two different things. There are a lot of "life's too short" type quotes out there which should inspire me to take the plunge but again, hearing those things and nodding sagely while thinking " hhmmm you know you're right" doesn't actually make me want to anything about it. Maybe I'm destined to never actually do those big things I really want to do because if this fundamental flaw in my character?
Thoughts to the usual address...

Monday, 18 October 2010

What's been going on

This post is inspired by two people. First, my friend Mr. P. Junior who asked me today "what happened to your plan to update your blog daily", and my lovely girlfriend who posted a good ol' fashioned rant on her blog today (which you can read here).
My life is pretty much going at a snails pace at the moment hence the reason I haven't been updating. STILL no job, hamstring knackered so I can't exercise and not much else to do. So, I thought I'd just make a little list of what's been happening.
Currently reading Simon Pegg's autobiography "Nerd Do Well" with Chris Evans second part of his life story waiting in the wings.
Kings Of Leon have a new album out today which I will be buying tomorrow.
Putting on weight (see earlier point about knackered leg etc.).
Visiting my mum & friends in London a week today for a few days.

God I just read that back - how bloody dull. I really will try and think up some more interesting posts for the future. If anyone has any suggestions please feel free to send them over.

Oh and a note on the iPad - still loving it. I switch it on when I wake up and I use it all day to browse, Twitter and check facebook. This post was even written on it. So far, no regrets in buying it.

More interesting posts to follow, honestly!



Tuesday, 12 October 2010

To buy or not to buy...

Hello. Don't worry this isn't another post about buying the iPad and getting buyers remorse. I'm not THAT boring (shut up Graham).
I'm renting a house at the moment - those of you who have paid attention to past posts will already know that. One of the worst things about it is there is carpet in the kitchen AND then bathroom. Carpet in the bathroom isn't too bad I guess but in the kitchen is unforgivable. So, even though I'm only renting the place I can't really live with it any longer so I have decided to get it changed. So I've just had a guy come round to measure up and the price? £170.00 (ish) fitted. Now the dilemma. I don't plan on being here for more than a few months really - no more than a year maybe - so do I spend that much money on a new floor or not? I've already spent £40 on a small piece of flooring for the bathroom so that's been changed (not a picnic I can fcukin' tell you) but it's done. So what to do about the kitchen?? Decisions decisions... Comments to the usual address.

Monday, 11 October 2010

More about the iPad

I had told people that I thought the iPad was too expensive for what it is. Also I think the price will come down fairly soon. So why did I buy it!?
Since seeing and playing with my friends (Mr. P. Senior) I have lusted gently after one for a while. And as I have a little spare cash at the moment, and the Apple shop obviously has some kind of air freshener that drugs you into making obscene purchases I thought "why the heck not?".
I've been using Facebook, Twitter, the browser and this blog on it so far and it is very sexy. I've yet to even fully explore all the apps that are available for it yet. And the iBooks thing looks awesome especially for someone like me who reads a lot. Oh, and you can subscribe to magazines like Wired on it which also will be very cool. I know you'll all be bored about it soon but I'll keep you updated as to how it goes.
In other news I spent Saturday morning / early afternoon in Manchester with my girlfriend which was awesome. We did some shopping (iPad etc.) and had a nice lunch.
Mr. P. Junior came up and spent the afternoon / evening / night with me which was brilliant. Good food good drink good company. And yesterday after he had gone home I decided to have a couple of beers and relax. My girlfriend then suggested I pop over to the pub to see her for a little while and then... Well, let's just say I ended up having to go to bed at about 8:00 last night coz I was w@nkered. I am now swearing off alcohol for a month. I know, I know you've heard it all before but I mean it this time.
So all in all a good weekend. Now to get a bloody job...


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Saturday, 9 October 2010

Buyers remorse

Just bought an iPad. Good Lord. And now the buyers remorse has kicked in with a vengeance. .
My girlfriend asked "Do you get buyers remorse when buying for other people?" and I have to say I don't. So what does that say about my psyche / self esteem?
My friend Mr. P. Junior is arriving the afternoon for an evening of cocktails and fine conversation - or it could be a night of Pygmy wrestling and illegal granny fights. But no doubt we will have a nice time.
Oh and I bought a t-shirt by the designer / tatooist Lou Molloy (I know!!). I'll post a pic of it.
Take care listeners.

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Finally recorded that song

It's not the best version, but it'll do for now while I try and improve it. Be kind!

Fountainhead on Box.Net

Service Announcement

I'm sorry people but I have had to return the 'Word Verification' to my comment section as I was starting to get a little inundated with spam comments. Hopefully this will stop what ever worm is out there hitting my blog and we can return to normal.

Thank you for your patience.

Monday, 4 October 2010

I'll try not to do this too often

I want to keep this blog more upbeat and positive than it has been over the past few months, but today I can't help but feel quite low and fed up so I thought I'd share with you all why. ("Oh great..." I hear you cry).

The thing is it's Monday today and whereas most of you will have got up this morning and thought "Oh Christ, Monday, I hate Mondays" etc. I can honestly say I envy you all. I would love to have woke up this morning and be thinking the same thing because it would mean I have a job to go to.
You can tell from that I still don't. The weekend comes around and it feels normal - Friday night, Saturday & Sunday football, relaxing Sunday evenings... but then when everyone else goes back to normality I remain in limbo.

It didn't help that I had one of the few things I enjoy and look forward to taken away from me yesterday. I went to play football on Sunday and due to an injury picked up two weeks ago my hamstring pulled during the warm up so I couldn't play. Gutted. I will definitely be missing next weeks training game and I am worried that I might not be fit for the following week, so losing my place in the side. *sigh*.

Anyway... I hope you have all had a nice weekend. I know I keep promising a new recording, and I did try earlier today but due to my melancholic mood it wasn't sounding right. I will get it recorded soon because this is actually the first song I think I sing well and I want the opinions of all of you. Stay tuned.

Friday, 1 October 2010

Insert title here...

Because I couldn't think of one.
A very frustrating couple of days as far as Jake is concerned this week. I won't go into all the gory details but because of the seperation I don't see Jake as often (obviously). The problem is, I want the time we have together to be nice. Chatting about good stuff, chillin' out etc. But the past few days all I've done is tell him off. I hate it.
I've heard / read literature that says it's important not to over compensate during a seperation and that's something I agree with. I want to keep things as normal as possible for Jake during this difficult time for him and that means disciplining him when he deserves it. But when I'm only seeing him for short bursts it gives less time for both discipline AND making-up-having-fun. I can't forgo the whole telling off thing for the sake of a nice time here, as that would send the wrong message and make things harder in the long run.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining as such. I have a wonderful son who I love more than my own life, but when I have days like the past few it's hard to remember that. In fact he's handled this situation a lot better than me. I'm immensely proud.
I have him here tonight and most of the day tomorrow, and then he's back to his mums until Tuesday night. While he's away I will record a cover of "The Fountainhead" by The Bluetones. That's a promise. Have a nice weekend.

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

It's so hard...

I know I said I'd post every day, but I meant it when I said nothing exciting is going on right now. Yes there is a new lady in my life - and I will get round to telling you more about her, just not yet...
Oh OK, here's some little facts about her.
  • She likes bacon on toast, but not bacon sandwiches.
  • She drinks tea with no milk or sugar.
  • She feels the cold very easily.
  • She has bright blue eyes.
If this was a film now I'd say something like "I just feel I'm meant for something more, something important..." and then a whole raft of adventures would befall me and I would end up in some foreign country somewhere sack deep in trouble.
Alas, life isn't like a film. I'm looking out the window and it's peeing down with rain and I'm waiting for Jake to come home. He's with me for the next couple of nights now which is cool but as the days are drawing in and it's getting darker earlier there's not as much time for him to go out with his mates and I know that frustrates him.

So what's been turning me on recently... Heroes Series 2, The Bluetones, Stephen Fry's "Chronicles", "An Idiot Abroad" with Karl Pilkington, Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, and beans & sausages on toast.

Soon it's the weekend, but hopefully something more interesting will happen between now and then and I can tell you all about it. Have a nice Wednesday.

Monday, 27 September 2010

The fridge rant

As promised.
Back on the 8th of September my fridge broke. There is a tiny copy pipe at the back of your fridge that contains the coolant stuff that keeps your beer and cheese cold. It is not very strong and can break when inadvertently struck with something heavy like a hoover *cough* not that I did this of course...
Anyway - I phone the number on the guarantee and was asked what the problem was. I was concerened primarily about the hissing gas that was escaping into my kitchen. I had visions of it causing me to collapse to the floor, struggling for breath all alone as though I was an extra in an episode of 'Casualty'. I was reassured that the gas was harmless and that an engineer would attend as soon as possible - the date given was 16th of September. 16th?! 8 bloody days without a fridge? I wasn't best pleased but sort of accepted that I am not a God and can't command instant attendance of my problems. Luckily, I had some spare cash so I popped off to Currys and bought one of those little bar fridges - just big enough to hold beer and.... I mean some milk, butter, the essentials.
So the 16th arrives as does the engineer (at 14:55 to be precise) which is typical isn't it after being told it could be anytime between 07:00 and 17:00 and waiting in all bloody day. But I digest. In comes the man with the tools, takes one look at the back of the fridge and says "yeah, I'm gonna need parts. I'll be back on the 27th". 27th?!? Are you fcukin' shittin' me?
that will be nearly 3 weeks without a fridge (I know, I know, I had the little bar fridge but that's not the point is it?). And off he toddles at 15:00. Waiting for 8 days and 7 hours for a 5 minute visit. Wank.
So here I sit, waiting in again for the man with the tools to turn up. Believe you me, if he arrives and says he can't fix it today, you'll hear my scream of impotent rage all the way in bloody Cornwall. I've been living off crap because I can't fit anything decent in the tiny little fridge - I want steaks and sausages and nice cheese and Japanese beer and chicken and fresh salads...
Once (if?) the fridge is fixed today tomorrow I will be doing a big shop and getting all manner of pleasurable things.
Have a nice Monday everybody.

Sunday, 26 September 2010

Impromptu nights

Hello children.
So I had a quiet morning yesterday once Jake had gone back to his mums, but then at about 16:00 my new lady and I decided to pop over to the local pub for "just a quick drink". This turned into three or four "quick drinks", which then turned into a curry and some more wine and *cough* some quality time together. It was a really great afternoon, evening and night and it all came from just a simple suggestion of a quick drink. This is why it's often said that all the best nights happen without a plan in place.
Today I am suffering a little, I can't lie. It's not too bad at the time of writing this as I've tried one of my hangover cures - an ice cold Budweiser and a big bowl of crisps - but this morning a drug addled raver could have danced to the thumping beat in my temples.
I have no other plans for today other than slumping on my recliner sofa (a recent acquisition which is utterly superb) and watching some football. I have a fridge engineer coming tomorrow to fix my fridge which has been broken for over three weeks. See I missed a rant there, didn't I, as I've not been updating regularly! I'll post the story of the fridge tomorrow maybe.
Anyway, I hope you are all enjoying your Sunday and it's peaceful and hangover free.
Over 'n' out.

Saturday, 25 September 2010

A 'feelings' post...

Jake has been staying with me thoughout the week for the past three weeks, with just weekend visits to his mum. This is because she had some issues with accomodation but they are now sorted. So, for the past three weeks we've had a nice little routine going and it's been really nice. Today he has gone back to her until Wednesday. This weekend it's her birthday and on Monday it would have been our wedding anniversary. Consequently I'm in a bit of an emotional state today. I haven't mentioned this before, and I'm not going into details, but she has someone else in her life. So knowing he's going to be there as well... I'm not in a good place today.
I know deep down that I am not going to be replaced as Jake's dad but it's still hard to not feel threatened or insecure. Don't get me wrong, I don't go around feeling like this all day every day, but at times like this these kind of feelings surface.
Anyway - City are on TV today at lunchtime, so I can have a couple of beers in front of the match and then maybe walk over to the local pub for a little while. This melancholy mood won't last but I wanted to share it with you anyway. Have a nice Saturday.

Friday, 24 September 2010

A typical day

See, this is what I was talking about yesterday. Nothing interesting happened to me today. It was a normal, typical day that I've been living through the past few weeks.
Get up. Deal with Jake and get him off to school. Take a walk down to Stockport. Come back. Have lunch. Read / write / watch DVD's. Wait for Jake to come home.
It's now 15.30 and Jake should be back here in about 20 minutes. He'll then do any homework then either play out with his mates or stay in and watch TV. We'll then have something to eat, watch some TV together, then hit the sack. B-O-R-I-N-G!
Don't get me wrong, if I was working at the moment this sort of day would be bliss. But when you have precisely naff all else to do it kinda grates on the nerves somewhat.
I can tell you I've been buying lots of cool music (Skunk Anansie, Black Mountain, Example, Avenged Sevenfold to name but a few) and also reading some good stuff (at the moment I'm in the middle of Stephen Fry's "Chronicles" and a couple of Karl Pilkington books which do make me laugh).
I obviously want another job as soon as possible, and I will be looking back at this downtime wistfully when I do finally get back to work. But it's been so long now since I've done anything productive I can feel my brain turning to cold porridge between my ears.

So I'm sorry, no amusing anecdotes for today's post. But stay tuned as things will get better.

Thursday, 23 September 2010

A momentous day

Mark it in your diaries. Thursday, September the 23rd is the day I re-launch this blog.
It's not a re-branding so everything will look the same, but from now on I will endevour to update it daily.
I have been inspired by people like Stephen Fry, Manuel The Waiter, and Karl Pilkington.
The problem is I am not really doing much on a day to day basis at the moment as I'm still out of work, but on those days where naff all happens I will try and entertain and inform you with whatever has been going through my head.
Let's just recap:
- Separated from my (ex) wife since January 2010. I will share some of my feelings on that.
- Met a new woman who is officially my girlfriend - more on her to follow
- Jake is now a senior school student - I'll let you know how he's doing
- A new season has started with Wilmslow Town Vets FC - match reports will be forthcoming

I will be recording some more songs, attempting to write my own songs (I wanna try blues), and generally babbling away at you all.

I hope you all have not got bored and wandered away from this blog, and if you're still around thank you for your patience and I hope you will feel rewarded.

So... a new dawn etc. Let's go...

Thursday, 9 September 2010

Headlines first...

I've got a new girlfriend. Details later...
Jake has started senior / high school and is doing really well. More to follow...
I'm first choice midfielder for Wilmslow Town Vets FC - updates on the way...

Stay tuned.

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

A good quote for my frame of mind

I have of late,—but wherefore I know not,—lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed, it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o’erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire,—why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculties! in form and moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension, how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?

Monday, 30 August 2010

Slacker

I know, I know, I said I'd update and I haven't. I'm sorry. However, I do have good and interesting news but I need to wait just a little bit longer before filling you all in. Please be patient. In the meantime, here's some music...

Monday, 16 August 2010

Stay tuned...

More updates coming soon. Developments have occurred that will be shared.
Peace.

Friday, 13 August 2010

Another chapter comes to an end

We sold the marital home yesterday. (Well, ex-marital home). So that's another phase in my life come to a close. I'm not as 'sad' as I thought I would be, I think partly because I have moved on so much already. But there was a definite sense of melancholy when the solicitor called me to say the sale had gone through.
I am moving on with my life. Things are changing (for the better) and each day that goes by makes me feel a little better about the future.
Just as an aside - when the solicitor phoned me to say the sale had gone through I checked my bank balance... fcuk me!! It's NEVER been that healthy! But still, I have to be sensible with the money as it's for a deposit on my own house, which I will push on with once I have a job (still waiting...).
More updates soon, promise.

Friday, 30 July 2010

A (small) end of an era

It was Jake's last day as a junior student today. In September he starts in high / senior school. Scary!

I remember that I loved junior school - I was the first picked from my year to be part of the football team squad, I made some excellent friends who I am still very close to today, I had my first kiss... it was good. But then I went up to senior school and I hated it. I was picked on for the first three years, school went from being carefree and a breeze to being a stressful, merciless place with a lot more hard work. I couldn't wait to leave and that's a fact. (Oh, and I had NO luck with the opposite sex, which didn't help!) **
I know Jake will have a better time of it. He has far more talent on the football field than I did at his age, and he has a natural ability to get on with anyone. And the girls seem to like him which is good! Still... my little boy's growing up.

Take tonight for example - he's going away tomorrow for a week or so with his mum, so tonight I thought we'd have something nice for tea (home made yaki soba - superb even if I say so myself) and then watch a film and spend some time together. I have, however, been banished from the lounge as his mate has just turned up! Typical!

Anyway - those of you with kids older than Jake will know what I'm going through. Those with younger kids, you have it all to come!

Have a nice weekend all. Peace.

** OR the same sex, before some smart arse says that...

Sunday, 25 July 2010

Hey

Still around. Not much changed really, still not working (drag) but day by day I'm feeling a little more positive about things. I can't lie I still have relapses every now and then when everything hits me, but they are becoming less in frequency and weaker in feeling.

I'm toying with the idea of a complete career change. Soon enough the house we had together will be sold and I will have a nice little lump sum coming to me. Now obviously that is supposed to be for a deposit on my own house but I can't get a mortgage if I'm not working. So I'm thinking about using that as a buffer to change careers and maybe do something I really want to do. But I don't know what!

Don't get me wrong if an IT job came up in the next couple of weeks I'd jump at it, but if nothing changes I can't go on like this for ever. We'll see.

Anyway I'm still here and will keep the updates coming. Peace.

Thursday, 15 July 2010

Your past self

So I've got kinda addicted to Life On Mars & Ashes To Ashes recently. When you're out of work you have to find something to fill your days with!
Anyway, in case you don't know what the shows are about, the basic premis is a copper (male in Life On Mars, female in Ashes To Ashes) goes back in time ('73 in LOM and '81 in ATA) to resolve some past issue. In both cases their child selves are around and this got me thinking - if you now could go back to when you were between the ages of say 6 and 12, what would you do? Would you seek yourself out, and your parents? Bear in mind that you'd be a grown up so you could meet your parents and they wouldn't know it was you. If you did go and find yourself, what would you say to yourself? What would you tell yourself?
Obviously, with what I've gone through over the past 10 months or so I think the main piece of advice I'd give myself would be that things do get better. When you're at your lowest point, and you feel that there could not be any more pain in the world, things DO improve.
So how about you lot out there? What would you say?

Monday, 12 July 2010

So I'm out of work

I don't think I mentioned this in a previous post, but I took voluntary redundancy from my job about 5 weeks ago. At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do and I thought I'd pretty soon be moving into a new role. However, although I've had some interest and a couple of offers there's been nothing that I've really wanted. I made the decision because I couldn't face commuting to Birmingham and back every day and with everything else that was going on in my life I thought it the best thing for my sanity.
The problem now is that the days just draaaag. I'm actively looking for a new role and getting calls from agencies but it's still hard. And obviously I can't go out spending money left right and centre because I don't know when I'm going to be working again.
I've tried to be pro-active, going out for runs, walking to town and back etc. but some days are just hard. Today is one of those days. Very low today. I think I mentioned in a post a long time ago that I wished life were like the movies sometimes. Well it's not. It's so fcukin' not.
And I'm gonna stop there because getting upset while typing a blog is so lame...

Thursday, 8 July 2010

A key word - adjustment

This is one of the words that really has been a big part of my new life.
I was in my relationship for 14 years. That's a long time to be with someone. We shared a home for 13 of those years. With my new life, I have had to adjust to being on my own a lot more of the time. Although while together I did my share of housework, cooking, washing, ironing etc. it's still a bit of a change to have to do it ALL. There is no one else to ask if they don't mind cooking for that night as you're knackered or to do the washing for that day.
Don't get me wrong - I have always liked my own company, and sometimes during my relationship I enjoyed the time alone I got. But having it forced on you is a shock. We share custody (I hate that word) of Jake so I do have company in him for half my week but adjusting to being alone in the evenings has been tough. Is tough. I'm still getting used to things. For a while I felt like I was going slightly strange with the amount of time to myself I was getting, sometimes with no contact with anyone for days at a time (when it wasn't my weekend for Jake for example). This feeling has started to fade (although that may mean because I have turned slightly strange...?)
Anyway - no real point to this post today, just a spouting of things I've been thinking.
Peace.

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

So have I learned anything?

See, the thing is, it's only with hindsight that you can spot the mistakes you shouldn't be making.
And by then, it usually too late.

If I had to give any advice to my friends / colleagues / readers of this blog who are in a relationship I would say this: Talk to each other.

So many problems in a relationship can be solved if they are talked out. Yes, I know, it's easy to just say "talk to each other" like it's the most natural thing in the world but sometimes I KNOW it's the last thing in the world you might feel like doing when things are going bad. You look at your partner and think "I do not want to be anywhere near you right now" or "it is utterly pointless to try and talk to you about this" but please... try. One of you, swallow your pride, take a deep breath and just ask to talk. It can save so much pain, confusion, anger, frustration.

I'm not saying that that would have saved our marriage but I do know that there were times when either one of us could have just talked and things may have been different. But we didn't. And so they aren't.

Take care people... it's a scary world out there.

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

I am now a statistic

I read somewhere that 76% of all modern marriages fail.
Well, I am now part of that 76%.

My wife and I have been officially separated since Easter this year. Although truth be told things kind of ended in January this year.

I won't go into all the gory details, they will stay between the two of us. All you need to know is now I have embarked on a new life as a single father living on my own. I am staying in the area we moved up to back in August to be near Jake and am looking to get a new job as a kick start to a new life.

Of course, during the breakup I was an emotional mess, and maybe in a later post I will try and offer some advice / insight as to what I went through in case it helps someone else who is going through the same thing. But for now, it's onwards and upwards for me. Enough time has passed of me avoiding my blog, Twitter, Facebook etc. and I decided to try and get back into it all again.

Thank you all for your patience and I hope those of you who drifted away will come back again.

So... what's been happening?

Monday, 24 May 2010

Patience

The time is coming - you'll all soon know what's been going on. Bear with me.

Saturday, 8 May 2010

Placeholder

Just another post to keep the blog 'alive' until I know what to say and how to say it.


-- Post From My iPhone

Friday, 2 April 2010

I'm still alive...

...but everything is different. Updates to follow.

Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Weather eh? Shocking

The view from where I'm sitting today:



Yes I'm sitting at my dining room table looking out the window into my back garden and that's what I can see. Thick, deep snow. The weather has gone potty. Still, it means I can sit here in my slob-out clothes, drinking tea, eating biscuits and staying warm. I have more documentation to do *sigh* but at least I've not gone out and crashed the car or anything daft like that.
I was supposed to be playing football on Sunday, but I doubt the local playing fields where we play will have under-soil heating, so I doubt it's on.
Not much else to report... oh, one of my favorite blogs is back online. Check it out, even though he is a red git. Well Done Fillet (Part II)

Peace.

Monday, 4 January 2010

Happy new year?

It bloody better be because the last one was shite.

Yes, it's a fresh and shiny 2010. Written down, doesn't that look like such a futuristic year?
No plans as yet for anything other than getting back into the swing of work. I have a cold trying to start at the moment (cue fighting it off with lemsip and orange juice) and the weather in my part of the world is shocking. It got down to -9.5 degrees c. last night!

So far, I seem to have managed to keep the weight off that disappeared through excess crapping and spewing on boxing day. I hope to keep it off permanently - and less beer should help.

So that's about it for today - it was only supposed to be a quick post to say hello and hope you are all fit and healthy and raring to go this year. Well are you?

More updates soon.