Friday, 30 January 2009

Men who look like old lesbians

First of all, let me just say that I'm not homophobic or anything. But, these articles made me laugh a lot, and I recommend a quiet 10 minutes having a look.

Top 25 men who look like old lesbians

30 more men who look like old lesbians


Tuesday, 27 January 2009

A quick review of the Purple Hotel I stayed in last night

Purple Hotel, Star City, Birmingham.

Things didn't get off to a good start when they couldn't find my reservation...
"It's under Simon Molloy - or it might be under Anixter" says our intrepid explorer.
"No, sorry sir, nothing of that name" says the dimly lit bulb of a man behind the counter.
Then someone with slightly more intelligence than the butt-brained boy pipes up,
"How are you spelling that?"
"M-O-L-L-O-Y" says I
"Ah, yes, here it is..."
And the name it was ACTUALLY under? Samon Mollow. WTF!? I even emailed & faxed my details to them, so it was written down for them. Sheesh.
Anyway. The room was quite small - one of the smallest I've been in in fact. No bath, just a shower, toilet and sink and the bed. And do you think I could get the heating working? Could I heck. So I spent the night with nothing but my hair above the covers, and in the morning when I woke up, I had to move as quickly as possible to the shower to avoid frost bite of my... *cough* extremities.
The bed WAS large though, (even though there were only two pillows, and thin at that) and quite comfortable, compared to others I've experienced. Oh, and the bath... sorry, shower towel was too small for my man size girth and there was only one of them, so when I didn't let it dry properly after last night I was drying myself with a slightly damp towel this morning. *sigh* Oh to be home. Still, not long - a few hours work, jump on the train, and away I go.
Have a great day all.

Monday, 26 January 2009

Imagine this as a 'flying visit' post

I'm here in our Birmingham office, so it's not gonna be a long winded post.

Train journey was good - nice and relaxing, no delays, which is always nice. However, I DID get robbed of £1.40 on the platform at Banbury - I was really thirsty, and saw a coke machine that looked like it was working. "This is asking for trouble" I told myself, but nevertheless I wanted a drink, so I dug out £1.40 in change, put it into the machine ... and nothing. B*STARD. I was SO tempted to kick it and swear at it - but that's not the new 'me' I'm trying to develop. I'm trying to be more calm, collected, serene. So I shrugged my shoulders, muttered "dropped a bollock there son" to myself, and left it alone.

Be out for a working dinner tonight, then back to the hotel and bed.

More soon - remember, keep an eye on my Twitter updates. For those who haven't signed up yet, I recommend it. Click on the link and get involved... Twitter.


Sunday, 25 January 2009

Just a quick one

I'm sitting here watching the football, relaxing on a Sunday afternoon. I've got to pack my stuff for my two day trip to Birmingham tomorrow, but I'm not really looking forward to going. I'd rather not be, put it that way.

I discovered this weekend that I like Green King IPA (It's a pale ale...which I don't normally drink) and that mozarella in a toasted sandwich is lovely.

All I need to do now for the rest of the evening is:

Cook dinner

and then I've ready for tomorrow.

Have a nice rest of Sunday, and keep an eye on my 'twitter' updates tomorrow as I can twitter while mobile now...

Friday, 23 January 2009

Friday at last

Another case of opening an email first thing in the morning and being wound up - gets the blood pressure up before I've even finished my first cup of tea, which is never good.

Anyway - out with 'the boys' tonight for a drink and a curry, which I'm really looking forward to.

I had some bad news about Jake's football - his match this Sunday has been called off AGAIN! That's four games that have been called off now, really annoyed, as he trains really well but then can't play in a match!

I'm off up to Birmingham on Monday, staying over until Tuesday, and I need to get a load of preparation done (i.e. finish some coding) before then, so it will be a case of ear phones in, music on, and keeping my head down today. Woe betide anyone who thinks they can monopolize my time...

Soundtrack of the day: I haven't decided yet, probably RANDOM.
Update: Turns out it was "The Seldom Seen Kid" by Elbow. A great album...


Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Had to share this picture

Click here to see it

When you look at this, you can imagine seeing a group of children playing a game on a climbing frame like this, make-believing that they are battling something or somethings - and in their minds this picture is exactly what they see. It's like looking at their game through their eyes.
Or even worse, its actually happening, but because we are adults we cannot see the truth that is right there, and only children have the lack of mental blinkers to really see the danger. There have been more than one novel based around that premise, although for the life of me I can't think of the title of the one I read... (d'oh!)

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

No post today

Well, apart from this, obviously, but it's only because there's not much going on and nothing really has caught my eye... more tomorrow hopefully...

Monday, 19 January 2009

R.I.P Tony Hart

I only just found this out...

Popular artist and children's presenter Tony Hart has died, aged 83.
I remember his programs with much fondess - Take Hart, Vision On, and Hartbeat. His enthusiasm was contagious and if I had been lucky enough to have him as my art teacher in school, my life could have turned out a lot differently. And who can forget Morph, and his evil alter-ego Chas? In honour of the sad passing of this man, I will be talking like Morph for the rest of the day while I'm here in the office, and if anyone doesn't like it, tough.

BBC News Article

Turkey Bolognese

I thought I'd share one of my most recent favorite recipes for Turkey Bolognese.

Ingredients (Serves 4):

1 clove of garlic (crushed)
1 onion finely chopped (I prefer using just half)
500g Turkey mince
1 tablespoon of olive oil
1 tablespoon dark soya sauce
500g tomato and chilli sauce (Sainsburys own)
freshly ground black pepper
1/2 of 25g pack of parsley, roughly chopped
400g spaghetti

Heat the oil in a pan, and add the onion and garlic. Fry until the onion is soft.
Add the turkey mince, and and fry until the mince has browned (about 5 - 6 minutes over a medium heat).
Once the turkey mince is cooked through, add the Tomato and Chilli sauce, stir in a tablespoon of dark soya sauce, and add some freshly ground black pepper.
Cover, and simmer for about 20 minutes on a low heat, stirring occasionally.
Cook the pasta as per instructions.
Just before serving, stir in some of the chopped parsley, and once plated up, garnish with the rest of the parsley. Bon App├ętit!

Saturday, 17 January 2009

Quick early Saturday morning post

Woke up to lashing wind and rain this morning, which is not a good start when Jake goes training at about 09.00... however, I think its calmed down a lot outside now.

Finally got Kubuntu working properly with the wireless network driver, which made me very happy last night (it's the little things...).

City are playing at 15.00 today, so I'll be in front of the T.V from 15.00 until 17.00 watching one of my favourite programs - Sky Sports Centre. Those who know football know what the show's about - but basically its a show that covers all the action, as it happens, during the 15.00 kick offs (without pictures). It's hosted by someone called Jeff Stelling (a top, top man) and they have four studio guests (usually ex-pros) who watch certain games and give updates as they happen. Sounds boring, I know, but for a football fan who can't get to the game, its brilliant. Oh, and a couple of weeks ago, I found something called the Sky Sports Super 6 bet. Its a free bet where you predict the result of six games, (including the correct score) and if you get all 6 right, you get a share of £100,000! For Free! It's a really good deal. So that's my Saturday afternoon... tomorrow morning Jake has a match, and after that, an easy Sunday afternoon.
Enjoy your weekend.

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Zombie weather again

Another morning of damp, mist, cold and darkness on the way to work this morning. As mentioned in previous posts here and here my imagination tends to run away with me slightly during weather like this. The questions that ran through my head this morning - could I get the car out and shut the garage door before 'they' reached me... could I get out of the gate at the end of the alley way in time... what would it be like to walk across that park to hear stumbling, moaning and smell the stench of death... where would I hole up, is the house secure enough, or would I have to make it to somewhere MORE secure... Good grief I'm weird. Even now, as I type this, it's very misty outside my office window, and could quite easily imagine a slow moving swarm of ex-corpses shambling toward our building. (Kind of like this, but not looking so much like a conga line...)

Anyway - a day of monotonous but necessary work today. I have had my code reviewed by someone in the U.S and now have to go through and make changes to bring it inline with company coding standards. Yes, I know, you're asking "Why didn't you just code to standard?" (Or maybe you're not) but the honest answer is it's hard remember EVERY standard when you're coding like a demon at 100 miles an hour like I do... heh.

Oh, and in response to Phil's comment - Kubuntu doesn't really start up any quicker than my XP setup (I've got my laptop setup to dual boot) but then again it's no slower either - so if I had to make a decision this minute about which OS I'd stick with, so far it'd be Kubuntu for look & feel, easy of use, price (it's open source people!) etc.

Soundtrack of the day: "Greatest Hits" by The Smiths

Tuesday, 13 January 2009

Health and safety at work

We got sent an email from the Health & Safety police - we had to take an online tutorial and test about Office Safety. What a load of horse dung. It covered fire safety, electrical safety, computer workstation setup and stuff like that. You then had to take a 15 question test, with a 80% pass rate. I'd say 90% of the stuff is common sense (e.g. - "What causes a Trip (their use of capitals, not mine) in the office?" duh... untidy cables, stuff on the floor etc.?) the other 10% teaches you about the different kind of fire extinguisher.
Anyway - I passed (of course) but with only 93% and not 100% - this is because my bloody mouse button went beserk and I clicked on the wrong button so I got one wrong. One of the questions made me laugh though:

"What should you do on discovering a fire?"
Answers to choose from: "Raise the alarm", "run away", "Do nothing", or my favorite "Do nothing until someone tells you" (Oi, Simon, there's a fire there.. oh thanks!)

In other news - finally got Kubuntu installed... and it rocks. VERY swish, looks fantastic, and I'm gonna enjoy getting to grips with it.

Soundtrack of the day: "Meds" by Placebo.

Monday, 12 January 2009

Told you I'd post from Gloucester

Left at 06.00 (*yawn*) arrived at 07.45, logged on and blogging with a cup of tea on my desk by 08.00! How cool am I?

The journey was sh*te though, I mean dark, wet, loads of spray and windy... but at least the roads were fairly empty of traffic.

I now just have to get some work done before my meeting at 14.00 today. Although it will be a bit of a struggle as I'm sitting next to a fellow golf fanatic so now doubt some 'golfy' conversation will come up... must... stay.... focused...

Update: Kubuntu. Not a swear word, or a religion, or a curious sexual practice performed by pigmies... it's an operating system, based on linux, but a LOT LOT nicer / better than windows (it says here...). Anyway - I'll be installing it later, and I'll let you know what it's like. For those of a technical nature, visit Kubuntu's Website to check it out.

Sunday, 11 January 2009

A brief weekend update

Training with Jake on Saturday was ok - very cold, and the pitch was rock hard and frozen, but he had a good session. Match on Sunday was cancelled due to (yes) hard ground.

Treated ourselves to waffles, ice cream, maple syrup and whipped cream for Sunday evening desert. VERY nice. VERY calorific. Jake's idea!

Tomorrow, off up to Gloucester for the day (all for a meeting that will probably last about 20 mins... *sigh*) and hopefully playing football if I can get back in time.

I've been thinking alot about golf recently too... it has to be time soon to get the swing going again in preparation for the new golfing season, but it's been so chuffing cold the very thought of gripping a golf club is horrible. Will have to start soon though.

I'll post more from Gloucester tomorrow hopefully... ciao for now.

Friday, 9 January 2009

He's growing up

So Jake was walking home from school with me the other day, and he proceeded to recite a couple of limericks. I can't remember all of the first one, but the second one was

"There was an old man from Crocket, who went to the moon in a rocket, the rocket went bang his eyes went clang and they found his nose in his pocket".

The other one was something to do with...
"There was a young woman from Ealing, who had a peculiar feeling..."

Now most of you recognise those as limericks with a slightly ruder tone. I looked at Jake when he said the 'Crocket' one and said "That's not the real version, is it, you've cleaned it up for me..." to which he replied by nearly pee'ing himself with laughter... "No, they go like this!" and he then told me the 'proper' versions. So he's 10 and coming out with stuff like this already...!

"There was an old man from Crocket, who went to the moon in a rocket, the rocket went bang, his balls went clang and they found his willy in his pocket".

"There was a young lady from Ealing, who had a peculiar feeling, she lay on her back, opened her crack, and pee'd all over the ceiling".

Now the shocking thing is he already knows things like 'crack'... but then he started to say another one to which I had to shout "No - enough!" before he could get too far...

"There's a lady with a finger in her f@**y..." Good grief!!

And to think we have a lot worse to come...

Soundtrack of the day: "Desert Sessions" by Josh Homme and his friends

Thursday, 8 January 2009

A sense of accomplishment

My windscreen washer wasn't working on the car. "Shite" I thought. It could be the pipes, the pump, the nozzles... I was envisioning an expensive trip to the garage and having to sell a kidney to pay for it. However, after a bit of thought, I decided to try the fuse. So off to the local car parts store I toddled, 30p well spent and a new 10amp fuse in my pocket.
Got home, popped the bonnet, fuse inserted... psshhhhh!! Perfect.

Now I know it's not a big job, but that sense of "nice one - job done" was a welcome one today.
I believe more and more in the adage "Hope for the best, expect the worst". The more I adopt this attitude, the better things seem. More than once I've had a phone call to make, or an appoinment, or a conversation to have with someone, and living by this little motto really helps.

Anyway - Friday tomorrow so things will look even better. Have a lovely evening all...

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

A new addiction

Well, maybe addiction is a bit strong, but I've started to visit my towns message board web site more and more often. It started the other day, when the road behind the one I live on had an armed man (apparently) in one of the houses. I was walking home (I think with the dog) and there were police everywhere stopping people walking down a particular road, but when I asked one of the rozzers "what's occuring" he said "not much". Yeah right I thought. Anyway, it was suggested I try the my towns message board to see if anyone had posted any details - and since then I've been visiting regularly. It's like a quaint, amateur-ish web site where people post all sorts of things about where I live. Traffic problems, vandalism stories, requests for help, local gossip, all sorts. Today, I have responded to a lady who was looking to rent a marquee (I posted a link to a web site - I mean come on woman, google it!) and to a bloke who was asking about traffic down a local road. So now I have another web site that will eat into my time at work!

Soundtrack of the day: "Violator" by Depeche Mode.

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Something frustrating

I know a lot of people feel like this, but it's particularly strong with me at the moment (no, not the Force...). I want more cool, modern technology in my life, but I can't afford it. Annoying isn't it?
My current list of wants:

Apple MacBook
New mobile phone (not sure which model - part of me says Blackberry, part of me says iPhone)
New MP3 player (yes, probably the iTouch)
Wii Fit board
New TV (42" flat screen hi def jobby)

So it's not a massive list, but the cost? Anywhere upwards of £3k! Bugger.

Back to the grind.... I mean, the joys of returning to work

Yes, my first day back in the office today since Christmas Eve. The office is still here, sadly, and my desk has been left mercifully unmolested. I now need to try and fire up the ol' motivation and get cracking. However, catching up on blogs I haven't had the chance to read, keeping up with the football transfer gossip (the transfer window is open until Monday Feb. 2nd) and just general lack of wanting to work is making it hard.
With the start of the new year, there are already a couple of things on my horizon that I can look forward to. In March, I am playing in the annual golf society days that I've done for two years running now. You can read about the previous one here - the actual title of the society is the Syndicate 8 Golf Society. (It's a police thing.).
In July we're planning on another trip to Cornwall - a kind of re-run of my mate Colin's stag do, but this time just four of us. So there'll be more surfing, more drinking, and more laughter to be had.
** Spooky! As I was writing this post, I received an email from the organiser of the golf trip confirming details! **

Anyway - enough dithering. I must crack on! Have a good Tuesday people.

Oh, Soundtrack of the day: "The Specials" by The Specials... going back in time with a bit of Ska.

Sunday, 4 January 2009

Reoccuring nightmare

Now I know normally, it's one of the most boring things in the world to listen to someone tell the tale of some dream they have. Same goes for nightmares. At the time, there was something terrifying about being chased through a field of rubber gloves by a dribbling school of hippos... but when you try and tell someone about it, you just get a funny look and a phone call from your doctor about increasing the dosage.

However, I have had a reoccuring nightmare about a plane crash - but not a plane I'm on.
It usually has me stood outside somewhere - near home, or one time, at my office - and seeing plane, a big jumbo, flying low over head. I can then see it's going to come down and crash into nearby houses, and it only seems to be me who can tell what's going to happen. And then I see everything in near-slow motion, the plane hitting the houses, the explosion, the feel of the huge crash through my feet, the screaming engines... it's quite horrible.

The thing is, I have no fear of flying, I've never been in a near-death experience on a plane (he says while touching wood) and actually flying to me is like getting on a bus... no problem at all. So, I have no idea where this nightmare comes from. What do you all think?

Thursday, 1 January 2009

Happy 2009

I'd like to wish all my 10's of readers a happy and prosperous 2009. If you did anything special last night, I hope it all went off without a hitch and you were with those nearest and dearest to you.

And I hope you all keep coming back here as often as possible.