Wednesday 28 February 2007

No post yesterday...

...sorry!
Played golf today. Didn't do too bad - front nine was better than the back nine. See, normally, I use a trolley to carry my clubs (lazy, I know) but today trolleys were not allowed on the course because of the wet weather so I had to carry my bag round. My God! It was like carrying a small family car around. Hence the reason my swing started suffering in the back nine.
Still, when I play next week, trolleys should be allowed to I will hopefully carry the good form from the front nine to the whole eighteen.

I was thinking yesterday about deja vu. I experienced it yesterday afternoon, and isn't it the weirdest thing? I've heard different explanations (chemical imbalance in the brain, actual psychic powers etc.) but all I do know is how strange it feels.
Its like a combination of "seeing the future" and living a past life. I've started to try and break the spell of it by doing something completely random, but now even that has started to become part of the deja vu experience. I remember on more than one occasion having this feeling and then something bad happening - and its almost like I know whats going to happen because of the feeling of deja vu. Very weird.

Anyway, comments can be sent as usual, and I'll hopefully post more tomorrow from Birmingham. Oh, and big shout out to Steve and thanks for the game today... 14 points! Ouch!

Peace out y'all.

Monday 26 February 2007

Monday

Its hard to be in a ranty, bad mood today, as Im only in the office today and tomorrow.
Im playing golf tomorrow and Im up in Birmingham on Thursday and Friday, so Im in a fairly good mood.
I have been sent some sexist jokes - I make no apologies, because I didnt write them, but the last one is particularly funny:


Q: What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??
A: The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says: "You're next, fatty."


---------------------------------------------------------------------

Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading.
Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
Wife replies: "I think you'll find, that is a sheep."
Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to Sydney. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free."

Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too I want to see how you live on $800 a year".

---------------------------------------------------------------------

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
* 2 litres of low fat milk
* a carton of eggs
* 2 litres of orange juice
* a head of lettuce
* half a dozen tomatoes
* a 500g jar of coffee
* a 250g pack of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, A drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,"You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the Drunk as to her Marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peace all.

Saturday 24 February 2007

Emotional TV

I was watching the six nations rugby game this afternoon between England and Ireland.
It took place in Croke Park, in Dublin, which was the scene of a bloody massacre in 1920, when the Police Auxiliary Division entered the ground during a Dublin-Tipperary match and starting shooting indiscriminatley into the crowd.
There were several Irish rugby players, and fans, who were quite obviously moved by the occasion today, as it is the first time since that horrific event that the English national anthem was played in that stadium. This obviously wasn't the whole deal, but with all the politics and emotional feelings that surround the whole place, this was a big step in Irelands own history.
This affected even me, who although does have Irish roots, is English born and bred. This got me thinking about other emotional events I have witnessed on TV, and I list three of them that stand out (for various reasons) here:
1. England v Australia - Rugby World Cup Final 2003.
It wasn't the event itself that moved me, rather the ceremony before hand. I was alone in the house (my better half had gone to watch the final with some work collegues in a pub in London). I was in the kitchen making myself a drink, and just as I had finished I heard a childs voice, singing. I walked back into the lounge to see the TV screen, and there, in front of a packed stadium and God knows how many millions of TV viewers a single boy, no more than 12, was singing solo the start of some song (for give me, I can't remember the name of it). The fact he was a) so young b) singing solo in front of SOOO many people and c) doing it so well just hit a nerve in me, and tears came to my eyes and I was overwhelmed.

2. Jack Niclaus last professional round of golf, July 15th 2005 at the 134th British Open
A golfing legend. At the end of his 18 holes on the Friday (he unfortunately missed the cut) he sunk a birdie putt, and the floodgates around the course opened. There were so many great players there to celebrate with him, as well as his wife. His son was also there, who had caddied for him on those two days. One of the American TV commentators said "I bet there isn't a dry eye in the country" and I for one was completely choked up.

3. Darren Clarke at the 2006 Ryder Cup.
A month before this massive tournament, Darren Clarke (NIR) unfortunately lost his wife to cancer. He still managed to find the inner strength to play in the Ryder Cup, and not only play but play well. At the end of the tournament, (with Europe winning) Darren Clarke won his singles match against Zach Johnson on the 16th. Hundreds of fans poured onto the fairway to watch this amazing victory. The raw emotion witnessed was unprecedented. Tears were flowing from nearly every eye nearby. Mine included. A very emotional experience.

So there - I've opened myself up a bit there for ridicule for being a girlie girl who cries at the telly. However, if any of you out there witnessed these events, and felt the same sorts of things as I did, you will know where Im coming from. If any of you out there have your own experiences, post them here and share them with the world.

Good night all.

Friday 23 February 2007

Pay day!

Yes, its pay day today, and its always good when it falls on a Friday.
I had to work from home today, but still managed to get a few things done.
My sister in law is due to give birth any day now, so there's a palpable sense of anticipation waiting on 'that' phone call to say labour has started. Im sure everything will go well and our thoughts are with them both.
Apart from that potentially exciting news, there's not much else happening this weekend - judging by the weather Jake's football will be cancelled (again!) and City aren't playing, so maybe its a chance for me to do some of those cr@ppy jobs round the house that need doing.
Carling Cup final on Sunday - I think Im going to be round a friend house to watch it, as his team (Arsenal) are in it, against Chelsea. Any excuse to sit with my friends, drink beer, and talk b*ll*cks all day!
Have a good weekend listeners, more drivel maybe over the weekend.

Thursday 22 February 2007

No post yesterday

I was told by the doctor the best thing for my sore fingers was to rest - which meant no typing.
I was officially off sick, but I felt a bit of a fraud seeing that I didnt feel ill or anything. However, the GP must have known what she was talking about, because although there is still a slight twinge in one of my fingers when I type most of the pain has gone.
I have a busy couple of weeks coming up which Im really looking forward to. I am working from home tomorrow, then its the weekend (the usual football with Jake etc.)
Next week, Im in the office on Monday and Tuesday, then off on Wednesday (A/L - playing golf with a good friend of mine). Thursday and Friday Im up in Birmingham (staying overnight) to get involved in Java training with the people I am supposed to be 'mentoring' in the future.
The following week, in the office again on Monday and Tuesday, then the two day golf trip to MacDonald Hill Valley (read about it here ). I've also got that Friday off as leave. So Im quite excited really, as Im playing a lot of golf over the next few days which is MUCH better than being sat at my desk!
Soundtrack of the day today: The Charlatans various albums.

Tuesday 20 February 2007

Sore Fingers

Im not too sure whats happened today, but the end of my fingers are really sore - to the point that just typing feels like needles being stuck into the end of them. I hope its not something daft like some sort of RSI...
I have a doctors appointment tonight, so we'll see what he says.
I did have some rather pleasant news today - one of my wife's cousins, (who works for the CID in Greater Manchester) has organised a golf day in Shropshire in early March for some of his copper work collegues. He phoned me today to tell me one of them has dropped out, and wondered if I'd like to make up the numbers! Result! So, I'll be booking two days off to join in. The two days will be laid out as follows:
  • 11.00 tee time on the first day
  • 18 holes of golf
  • drinks and dinner in the evening
  • Bed and Breakfast
  • another 18 holes at 10.30 the next day
  • Home!
The venue where all this takes place is The MacDonald Hill Valley Golf And Country Club
Im really looking forward to it, so as long as I get permission from my 'significant other (!)' it should be good. The only bit Im worried about is going out on the town with a load of coppers... they have a (well earned) repuation of being serious drinkers, which I REALLY am not. *Gulp!*

Monday 19 February 2007

Why people need wing mirrors

This is not the first time this has happened to me, and its probably happened to some of you listeners out there. Allow me to elaborate. I was out and about this morning, and twice someone in front of me either suddenly stopped or changed direction.
First of all, I was walking through the local shopping centre, (quite fast, as I usually do), and I came up behind a middle aged woman. The though process in my mind was something like "accelerate round to the left and go past her" but just as I got there she stopped dead. Just like that. She wasn't even looking into any shop window or anything she just... stopped. It was only my quick reactions that stopped her getting a rather nasty surprise from behind IF you get my meaning. As it was, I just managed to swerve round her and catch a "Oh, sorry..." as I walked away.
I then had to pay a visit to the local supermarket. As Im walking down one of the aisles with someone to my left they just suddenly turn to their right and walk straight into my shopping basket. Judging by the look on their face as I tutted and walked off, it hurt their knee quite badly. My fault? Sh*t no. If they had only looked before they walked where they did.
This happens in a lot of places, Oxford Street in London being a PRIME example - tourists, old people, mothers with lots of kids, teenagers it seems that all sorts of people can be culprits.
There are only two solutions I can see. Install wing mirrors and indicators from birth, or just push the f*ckers down.

Finally remembered my password...

Jake had a good game yesterday. His team won 2 - 0 and he scored one of them, a well taken goal even if I am biased!
City also won in the F.A Cup, to make it through to the quarter finals... the draw is today at 1.30 so fingers crossed we get someone sh*te.
Apart from that it was a fairly quiet day yesterday. I did get that amazing feeling of waking up without a hangover. You're really only feeling the way you normally do, but the fact you woke up the day before feeling like something had cralwed into your mouth, had a party, taken a dump, and died makes you feel 100 times better the next morning.

Just a quick note as well to all those who have left comments - anonymous and otherwise - its really appreciated, and its nice knowing more than one person is reading this.

If anything interesting happens today I'll write up another post this evening.

Saturday 17 February 2007

Hangover-ville... population me

Quite a good night last night. I thought I would drink red wine instead of a load of beer, so ordered myself a bottle. Drank the bottle. I paid for it this morning.
I mean, it wasn't the vomiting, coming out of all orifices, nuclear headache kind of hangover, but I still felt like luke-warm death. My problem is that I wake up early when I feel rough, and because I feel rough, I cant get back to sleep so I just end up feeling cr@p. This morning I was awake at 5.15, out of bed by just after 6.00, so I only had about four hours sleep.
I didnt play guitar last night either... I was too drunk to concentrate and the 'mood' wasn't really right, so I didnt bother.
After taking Jake training this morning (he had a really good session today) I started to feel more human, but I have still spent most of the day doing the grand total of bugger all.
The BEST thing about feeling like this, is knowing that when I wake up in the morning Im gonna feel fantastic compared to this!
We're all going round my parents tonight for dinner, to see my sister, so Im looking forward to that.
Sorry there's not too much inspirational stuff today, but blame that red harlot of a grape Cabernet Sauvignon.

Friday 16 February 2007

Feeling ratty

Im not feeling too good today. Not ill as such, but I ache from football last night, I have a headache, and I can't get motivated. Just feel generally run-down.
Im off out for drinkies tonight, and will probably end up back at my friends house. There will be a total of five people there (plus me) and Im SO tempted to see if I can work up the bottle to play AND sing in front of them. I've been playing and singing alot at home this week (when the house is empty!) and its going quite well, so who knows.

Soundtrack of the day: Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band (The Beatles).

No real plans for the weekend... Im seeing my sister for the first time in about 3 months round my parents on Saturday night (take-away and beers) but apart from that, I think it's gonna be another quiet one.

I will post tomorrow on the status of my hangover from tonight and whether I made a tit of myself with the guitar...

Have a good weekend all. Peace.

Thursday 15 February 2007

I dont need cheering up, thank you

A mini-rant today. Why do some people get it into their heads that if you are not walking round with a massive grin on your face like you're on some kind of medication, they think you are on the brink of jumping off the nearest roof? Three times today I had someone (not the same someone - that would have warrented a smack in the back of the head) say to me "Cheer up!" or something along those line, just because I wasn't singing and jumping around like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins. I AM PERFECTLY FINE THANK YOU! SHUT UP AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
On all three occasions, I was thinking about a problem Im working on, so pardon me if I dont feel like stopping what I was doing just to smile and laugh and say in a Butlins-Holiday-Camp-Rep-stylee "Hi! How are you! Hows your day! Im happier than a dog with two d*cks!" And then, to make things worse, you then get a reputation of being moody / grumpy / snappy when all you were doing was DOING YOUR F*CKING JOB which more people should concentrate on doing.
Actually, this brings me onto another point - open plan offices. I hate them. I work in an open plan office, and my job actually involves concentrating on quite complex problems. How the h-e-double-hockey-sticks can I concentrate when the office is full of noise being made by adolescent, immature techno feebs laughing uproariously at the latest internet spam, or menopausal women talking about their latest plans for the night / childs party trick / pregnancy / hair do / resteraunt they tried / gorgeous piece of 'arse' up in sales? Is it any wonder I sit here with a walkman on loud enough to drown out the noise?
Todays soundtrack: Blink 182 / Bowling For Soup / Dirty Pretty Things.
Peace out y'all...

Addendum: If any of this causes offence - could I give a sh*t?

Tuesday 13 February 2007

I wish...

... I had more bottle. I've been playing quite a bit of guitar recently, and more and more I wish I could work up the courage to play and sing in front of people. I know Im not really good enough to carry off something like that to a paying audience, but in front of friends I think I could do it. I get a very pleasureable thrill thinking about it - playing and singing a set of songs and seeing the appreciation on peoples faces. However, when it actually comes to it, Im very shy and know that I dont have the nerve to do it. I can quite happily play and sing to myself, and even though Im no Elvis my voice sort of stays in tune... but in front of people is another matter.

I was thinking of a set list this lunchtime, and it would start off something like this:

"Spaceman" (Oasis)
"(You've got to) Hide Your Love Away" (Beatles)
"Rocking Chair" (Oasis)
"Fake Plastic Trees" (Radiohead)
"Fade Away" (Oasis)

and some of the other songs I'd want to play are "Married With Children" (Oasis), "Lucky Man" (The Verve) and maybe one or two others.

A list of favourites

Beatle: John Lennon
Rolling Stone: Keith Richards
Crisp Flavour: Cheese & Onion
Non-alcoholic Drink: Diet Coke
Alcoholic (beer): Budweiser
Alcoholic (spirit): Bourbon
Alcoholic (cocktail): White Russian
Author: Stephen King
Tea or Coffee: Tea
Meat: Beef
Poultry: Chicken
Takeaway: Chinese
If I Were A Monster I'd Be: a Vampire

More (maybe) another day...

Monday 12 February 2007

Is there such a thing as an anti-cold?

Some of you who are fans of Red Dwarf will recognise this postulation - its from Series 5 episode 4 "Quarantine". Is there such thing as the 'anti-' cold? We all know that the common cold is a virus that attacks our internal systems making us feel like sh*t with sort throat, blocked / runny nose (why is it either one or the other? You either can't breathe, or when you do breathe you shower everyone in snot!) temperature / fever and general miserable, aching, feeling like cr@p.
So I ask, is there the opposite? Do we wake up some mornings having contracted the anti-cold? The reason I ask is because thats what happened to me today. I didn't wake up feeling wonderful, but by the first hour or so in the office I was in a very good mood and feeling good. There is no reason for this, I have not had some good news, or come into some money or anything like that but for some reason I went from the normal Monday morning feeling of boredom, misery, low-grade paranioa to feeling good. The only thing I can think of that would cause this is the anti-cold virus. This is not the only time this has happened to me - it has happened before in the past. To paraphrase Dave Lister from the Red Dwarf episode mentioned "I know what you mean - my life has turned to utter cr@p but I've woken up feeling on top of the world". The Red Dwarf episode then goes on to suggest there are other 'positive' virus's such as Luck, or Sexual Magentism (the second one isn't a virus its a gift that I have been fully endowed with - HA! yeah right). These seem just a little far fetched to me, but the anti-cold I think is something that could really exist.
Soundtrack of the day: Rage Against The Machine.
Comments / thoughts welcome - send them to our usual address...

Sunday 11 February 2007

Another lazy Sunday

Jake's football was cancelled today because of the weather, so we've had a lazy day. I went to the driving range this morning and took Jake, and he enjoyed himself. Rest of the morning was spent (on my part) reading, then preparing lunch. In the afternoon, I watched the Ireland v France six nations game, and some of the Arsenal v Wigan match.
This evening will be spent getting ready for work tomorrow.
VERY boring I know, but thats the whole point - its relaxing, stress free, and lazy.

I'm aware that the past couple of posts have been on the dull side... I will endevour next week to make these more readable. The thing is, when there isn't much going on in my world, its hard to write interesting stuff. As I said in one of my very first posts, I dont want to make stuff up just to sound interesting.
Keep the faith listeners...

Saturday 10 February 2007

I hate football

Jake had his first guitar lesson last night, with a tutor called Christelle. She's a session guitarist as well as a registered guitar tutor.
She started with the very basics (the high 'E' string) and taught him the notes 'E', 'F', and 'G'. He is full of enthusiasm and really keen to learn which is good. And Christelle is very good at what she does so the next few weeks should be very interesting.
Now for football. City lost again today (2 - 1 away at Portsmouth) and the annoying thing is, I actually got my hopes up. We were 1 - 0 down, and then equalised and really came back into the game - but when they got the winner it really was a kick in the knackers. So now, I dont want to watch match of the day or anything like that. Jake didn't train today because of the weather but he does have a match tomorrow. So, my only hope is that he restores my love of football by winning!
Rest of this week, what do I have on? Not much! Should be a quiet week, as I dont have any plans, but who knows what will come up. The only thing thats kind of planned is a drink on Friday night... but we'll have to see.

Friday 9 February 2007

Why do they do it?

Im not in a good mood today. I got into the office this morning to find my chair hidden in a cupboard, one of my keyboards plugged into the mouse port of the computer, and my desk re-arranged with my own personal bits and pieces moved around and mucked about with. Oh hilarity. Oh comic genius. Why dont people leave my stuff the f*ck alone? Its not the first time this has happend - and this time I emailed the dept. to ask them who did it and to tell them I do not find it the least bit amusing. Now alot of you might think "Oh dont be so miserable it was just a joke" but no. I do NOT find it funny. I do not touch other peoples personal possessions or computer equipment when they are not in the office, so I expect the same courtesy to be extended to me. People probably read the email I sent and thought "miserable sod" but I really could not give a toss what people think about me. Im here to do my job to the best of my ability, be professional and courteous around the office, then go home. Im NOT here be laughy smiley happy bubbly person around the office. Sometimes I think "give me a tall tower and a high powered rifle and nothing to live for..."

Thursday 8 February 2007

Walking in a winter wonderland...

So the snow's here...



More pics as I take them - if any listeners have any they'd like to see posted here, send them to me at simon.molloy@gmail.com

Wednesday 7 February 2007

Snow's a-comin...

All the news and weather websites are going on about the snow tomorrow. I've asked permission to work from home because I dont really fancy travelling in it, and seeing as I can do my job from here, its not that much of a problem. Im looking forward to waking up and seeing how it will look in the morning.
So what have I done for my day off today? Well, knackered my driver for one! I went to the driving range for about an hour today. Got my ball token, got my bucket of balls, and warmed up with my seven iron. After a few swings, thought to myself "Right, lets get the big stick out". Set myself up (with the new stance I got from my golf lesson - it really works as well... more on that later). Swung back, through the ball... *CLANG!* "What the F***?!" The mat you play off in the bay was set too far back, so as I followed through my club had smashed into the metal supports over my head. A real "You've Been Framed" moment. Thats my driver knackered. There is now a big dent in it. :-(

Luckily I have on order a new driver anyway... it should be turning up sometime early next week.
As for the new stance - the pro I had the lesson with only really changed the width of my feet, the distance I stand from the ball and the shape of my back but my God what a difference. Whereas before two or three drives out of ten would end up going pretty straight and on the fairway (which of course means seven or eight of them would have me cursing and paying a visit into the deep rough) with my new stance six or seven of them end up where I want them to go. This still isn't perfect, obviously, but with time and practice with this new stance my consitency should really improve.
Enjoy the snow tomorrow listeners, maybe I'll post some pics of what I see in the morning (if I can be @rsed!)

Tuesday 6 February 2007

Day off tomorrow...

Every now and then, its nice to have a day to oneself. During the week, I work, so have to be up and out of the house by 6.45.
At the weekends, what with various things like football, housework etc. its very rare to be able to lie in and not have to do anything. Tomorrow, (hopefully) it'll be one of those days. However, I do have a plan to play golf tomorrow... but as I dont have to book a tee time, AND I will be playing alone Im not 100% certain I'll be going.
Techie bit now: A friend of mine asked me to help him find an RSS reader / ticker. He has an RSS data source, and would like to be able to have it displayed on a ticker on his site. Do you think I could find any freeware for that? Could I heck. I dont know why they are all shareware (average price $29) but its not the sort of thing I was after. Are there any techies out there who know of something I could use?
Update: I've found some code so Im having a go... will post the code here if I get it working.

Found it - quicker than I thought to!


Monday 5 February 2007

Can't think of one

Im not in a good mood today. Im feeling very low.
Work is becoming a struggle with too much work and, in my mind, not enough support / guidance from my superiors. I have horrible technical documentation to do, plus projects and production support. Its a feeling of too much stuff and not enough time. And a surprise it may be but I am a very conscientious person as far as my work is concerned, so its hard for me to say "No" to something, or just think "Sod it that can wait" because I feel like I have to deliver the highest possible standard of work in the quickest possible time. This can be seen as a weakness when it starts to affect my mental state because Im so worried about delivering all that I need to - but switching that part of my character off is very hard indeed.
This explains the lack of a post yesterday - I just couldn't bring myself to power up my laptop, knowing I'd be back into it today.
Its hard to choose a soundtrack for today because my mood dictates what I want to hear - but also, what I hear can affect my mood so the choice of album and artist is difficult... at time of writing, I am listening to "Some Loud Thunder" by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah.
Oh - and if any listeners out there want a new mobile phone, I have a second hand but very good condition Motorola V3i Razr with all the bits and pieces. Offers accepted.
Peace.

Saturday 3 February 2007

A Scanner Darkly

What a gorgeous day today.
I watched a very interesting film last night - A Scanner Darkly. Its based on a book of the same name by the famous Sci-Fi writer Phillip K. Dick. The thing thats interesting about the film, apart from the plot about drug addiction, paranoia and betrayal is the way its shot. Its a combination of live action over laid with animation - so the actors (Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jnr. Winona Ryder and Woody Harrelson) all look as they should but with an animated overlay... hard to describe but very cool looking.
Today is a good day, as there is lots of sport on - football at lunchtime, then Rugby (Six Nations start today) then football from 3.00 (Come On City) then Rugby from 4.00 (Come On England) then MORE football at 5.00! An excellent excuse to sit in front of the TV all day drinking beer... not good for my waistline, but very good for the soul.
Im looking forward to next week also, I have two new golf clubs ordered and on their way, plus three new books about Zombies - World War Z, Zombie Survival Guide, and Day By Day Armaggedon. Have a good Saturday listeners - maybe more waffling tomorrow.

Friday 2 February 2007

TFI Friday

I've gone a bit download mental this morning - I bought "Wincing The Night Away" by The Shins, "Myths Of The Near Future" by The Klaxons and I thought I'd try "Make This Your Own" by The Cooper Temple Clause. I've been really looking forward to the Shins new album, so that put a smile on my face this morning (I'll post an update on here with how good / bad it is). The Klaxons is one of those albums that you've heard about so I thought I'd give it a go, and the same goes for The Cooper Temple Clause one.
Q Magazine also came out yesterday - this is the only magazine I buy religiously. Being a massive music fan its a compulsory purchase for me. Anyway, its half past seven in the morning, so I know this is an early post, and I'll probably end up updating it some more later, but have a good Friday y'all...
Update: The album is good. Its not an instant impact album, but I've listened to it once through and I like it. I think its gonna be a grower, much like the other album I've got of theirs "Chutes Too Narrow".
Completely off subject, found this excellent thread on Football365 - ZOMBIES! And I thought I was the only person who thought things like this...
Update Part II: A friend just sent me this site: Personalised Radio and it is SO cool.

Thursday 1 February 2007

Why does being in a rush make me rude?

OK, two in a row isn't good for my blood pressure but I have need to RANT again...
Why is it, just because someone doesn't understand that you are in a rush to get somewhere they think you are rude? It can happen anywhere... on the road, walking behind someone along the street, but quite often it happens to me in shops. Particularly supermarkets. You're stood in the checkout lane for baskets only (because you only have a couple of things... you're in a rush, see?) , thinking "Please hurry up, I need to get out of here and back to work / home by x o'clock / back to the garden to bury the body" but low and behold the worlds dummest checkout numpty has just sat down to start her shift. Does she login to her till and start immediately scanning items at breakneck speed, so ensuring swift and efficient service? Does she b*ll*cks... first she farts about getting her seat the right height, then has a quick catch up with Doris who's just vacated said till, asking about her hysterectomy and how her husband George is doing since his little 'embarrassment". Then, just because someone (*cough cough*) makes a comment along the lines of "Oh, dont worry, I'M not in any rush" she looks at you as though you've just pi$$ed on her birthday cake. Finally she's ready to start work and begins the arduous task of picking up items of shopping and holding them above a scanner. I mean COME ON! How hard can that be? Toddlers could do it - Im betting Blind Bill the Man with No Eyes could do it wearing a shagging blindfold. But this blob of makeup and hairspray? Why does it take her THREE GOES to get it right? But the problem is, because of her lack of basic motor skills YOU are the one who will end up in trouble back at work because you weren't back in time, or in trouble at home because you missed dinner or in trouble with the Police because the body has been discovered. So I'M the bad guy for wanting good and efficient service from someone who's only task in her job is to scan my shopping, take my hard earned money, and shut the f*ck up? I tell you all listeners, these are the sorts of people who should be first up against the wall when the revolution comes. I make a plea to you all - do not suffer fools gladly. These people will end up breeding and then where will we be?
Peace out all.