A mini-rant today. Why do some people get it into their heads that if you are not walking round with a massive grin on your face like you're on some kind of medication, they think you are on the brink of jumping off the nearest roof? Three times today I had someone (not the same someone - that would have warrented a smack in the back of the head) say to me "Cheer up!" or something along those line, just because I wasn't singing and jumping around like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins. I AM PERFECTLY FINE THANK YOU! SHUT UP AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
On all three occasions, I was thinking about a problem Im working on, so pardon me if I dont feel like stopping what I was doing just to smile and laugh and say in a Butlins-Holiday-Camp-Rep-stylee "Hi! How are you! Hows your day! Im happier than a dog with two d*cks!" And then, to make things worse, you then get a reputation of being moody / grumpy / snappy when all you were doing was DOING YOUR F*CKING JOB which more people should concentrate on doing.
Actually, this brings me onto another point - open plan offices. I hate them. I work in an open plan office, and my job actually involves concentrating on quite complex problems. How the h-e-double-hockey-sticks can I concentrate when the office is full of noise being made by adolescent, immature techno feebs laughing uproariously at the latest internet spam, or menopausal women talking about their latest plans for the night / childs party trick / pregnancy / hair do / resteraunt they tried / gorgeous piece of 'arse' up in sales? Is it any wonder I sit here with a walkman on loud enough to drown out the noise?
Todays soundtrack: Blink 182 / Bowling For Soup / Dirty Pretty Things.
Peace out y'all...
Addendum: If any of this causes offence - could I give a sh*t?
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2 comments:
Two phrases that, in the history of the universe, have never worked and indeed are likely to create the opposite effect:
"Cheer up"
"Calm down"
So why do people continue to use them? They should be banned.
Well said. esp the open plan office. I to have to put up with cackling hags telling tales of their kids weekend vomiting/ailments/up-all-night/boyfriend/husbands a w@nker!/good for nothing etc, etc- and listen to the twenty-somethings ooze over the latest Merc or bmw ZZZXXXZ 5.2 turbo-man-turbo-twinspark (yawn!!!)
IT HAS 4 WHEELS AND GETS YOU FROM A-B (if you dont come across too many female drivers that is- joke!)- GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Which brings me on to tail-gating, mobile phone holding *rseholes! Sort it out! Your d*ck really isn't big enough to steer that wheel! Enough said.
Back to the open-plan office...
I prefered it when I had my own little sound-proofed pidgeon-hole - it was QUIETER! This in contrast to the 'official' BRIBED Noise expert that tells us all it makes NO difference to take away a sound board! - Yeah right!!! Tell that to big mouth down the aisle. Plus I didnt have to notice the materially challenged woman (because they cant find cloth big enough to cover her!)in the office stuffing her cholesterolly-challenged body with queen-sized packs of Doritos - wondering why she is 4 times her natural weight. All offices have this person/s - and they need help before the building becomes structually unsound. Some people cant help being big-built or have a genuine medical condition that bloats them out, but some just need to EAT LESS FOOD! It's NOT Rocket science- ask Mr Oliver! BRING BACK THE PIDGEON_HOLES AND MORE BUILDINGS WITH STAIRS NOT LIFTS _ why make us lazier than we already are?
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