Friday, 9 January 2009

He's growing up

So Jake was walking home from school with me the other day, and he proceeded to recite a couple of limericks. I can't remember all of the first one, but the second one was

"There was an old man from Crocket, who went to the moon in a rocket, the rocket went bang his eyes went clang and they found his nose in his pocket".

The other one was something to do with...
"There was a young woman from Ealing, who had a peculiar feeling..."

Now most of you recognise those as limericks with a slightly ruder tone. I looked at Jake when he said the 'Crocket' one and said "That's not the real version, is it, you've cleaned it up for me..." to which he replied by nearly pee'ing himself with laughter... "No, they go like this!" and he then told me the 'proper' versions. So he's 10 and coming out with stuff like this already...!

"There was an old man from Crocket, who went to the moon in a rocket, the rocket went bang, his balls went clang and they found his willy in his pocket".

"There was a young lady from Ealing, who had a peculiar feeling, she lay on her back, opened her crack, and pee'd all over the ceiling".

Now the shocking thing is he already knows things like 'crack'... but then he started to say another one to which I had to shout "No - enough!" before he could get too far...

"There's a lady with a finger in her f@**y..." Good grief!!

And to think we have a lot worse to come...

Soundtrack of the day: "Desert Sessions" by Josh Homme and his friends


colin said...

Growing up fast old chap

How old is he.... Must of heard the sayings from his old man! ;-0)

russ said...

I always remember the one my dad told me when I was younger:

There once was a man from Dundee
Who go stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked if it hurt
He said "No, he can do it again if he likes!"

Yes, I didn't understand why it didn't rhyme or scan, but apparently the confused look on me and my sister's faces was a picture!

Charlie Naseweis said...

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
In space that is quite economical,
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

Charlie Naseweis said...

There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When asked why this was,
He answered "because
I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as ever possibly I can.