Monday, 27 September 2010

The fridge rant

As promised.
Back on the 8th of September my fridge broke. There is a tiny copy pipe at the back of your fridge that contains the coolant stuff that keeps your beer and cheese cold. It is not very strong and can break when inadvertently struck with something heavy like a hoover *cough* not that I did this of course...
Anyway - I phone the number on the guarantee and was asked what the problem was. I was concerened primarily about the hissing gas that was escaping into my kitchen. I had visions of it causing me to collapse to the floor, struggling for breath all alone as though I was an extra in an episode of 'Casualty'. I was reassured that the gas was harmless and that an engineer would attend as soon as possible - the date given was 16th of September. 16th?! 8 bloody days without a fridge? I wasn't best pleased but sort of accepted that I am not a God and can't command instant attendance of my problems. Luckily, I had some spare cash so I popped off to Currys and bought one of those little bar fridges - just big enough to hold beer and.... I mean some milk, butter, the essentials.
So the 16th arrives as does the engineer (at 14:55 to be precise) which is typical isn't it after being told it could be anytime between 07:00 and 17:00 and waiting in all bloody day. But I digest. In comes the man with the tools, takes one look at the back of the fridge and says "yeah, I'm gonna need parts. I'll be back on the 27th". 27th?!? Are you fcukin' shittin' me?
that will be nearly 3 weeks without a fridge (I know, I know, I had the little bar fridge but that's not the point is it?). And off he toddles at 15:00. Waiting for 8 days and 7 hours for a 5 minute visit. Wank.
So here I sit, waiting in again for the man with the tools to turn up. Believe you me, if he arrives and says he can't fix it today, you'll hear my scream of impotent rage all the way in bloody Cornwall. I've been living off crap because I can't fit anything decent in the tiny little fridge - I want steaks and sausages and nice cheese and Japanese beer and chicken and fresh salads...
Once (if?) the fridge is fixed today tomorrow I will be doing a big shop and getting all manner of pleasurable things.
Have a nice Monday everybody.


russ said...

That'll learn ya. Don't hoover.

Phil Dawson said...

maybe you should have fitted copper pipes instead of copy ones. they might be less fragile!

sorry couldn't help it!

Reminds me of The Streets song Empty Cans.

Simon said...

Thanks for the spelling correction Mr. Dawson. Hope you and the family are well.