Its been a while, so here's another RANT:
Where I live, there is an alley way that runs along that back of our row of houses. On Wednesdays the dustbin men drive their big yellow truck down there to collect the rubbish that people leave out there. So far so funky. When I leave my rubbish out there, I dont put it there until Wednesday morning, so that foxes, cats, hobos etc. can't route through it and scatter it everywhere. There is someone, however, who lives in the house that backs onto the alley way from the other side - right opposite my garage door - who puts their bins out the night before. This encourages vermin and street people to rip open the bags and scatter the detritous all over the bl**dy place. It is so inconsiderate. It means then when I left this morning there was old chicken legs, emtpy cat food tins and the like scattered outside MY garage door. This waste of skin and organs that dumps his rubbish outside the back of my house does not use the alley way for access, so HE'S not affected. Its only gonna take one more bad mess, and Im gonna start dumping the trash back over into his garden. The attitude is basically "I've dumped it over the fence, its no longer my problem". To$$pot.
Anyway - enough of that. I dont feel too good today, feel a bit headachy and sick, which is not nice. But its a gorgeous day out and I've got a good soundtrack today - Sneaker Pimps and their 1996 album "Becoming X". Oh, and the transfer window shuts at midnight tonight, so Im interested in seeing which has been donkeys City end up with. Might be hosting a couple of friends tonight for the football also. Enjoy the sun listeners...
Update: A new past time discovered tonight - watching the transfer window. Various web sites show up to the minutes gossip and rumours about transfers as the window approaches its 00:00 close time... and its quite amusing! Obviously you need to be a football fan to really enjoy it, but luckily I am so its boss!
Wednesday, 31 January 2007
Tuesday, 30 January 2007
Flying
I used the DVLA's online Tax disc renewal service this morning. And surprisingly, it worked really well. All you need to is the reference number that comes with your reminder, and your car needs to have been issued with one of the new computerised MOT certificates, and thats it. I typed in the reference number, it found my car and knew my tax was about to expire (scary!) and then 7 or 8 clicks and a credit card number later, its done. No more do we need search out insurance and MOT certificates, and queue behind Mable and Mavis in the post office as they take three ice ages to collect their pension and mail a hand-knitted kaftan to their niece in Australia...
I have started to look into getting my PPL - or Private Pilots License. Apparantly, this is not as arduous as it may sound, the main inhibiting factor being the cost. A brief summary of whats needed: Learning To Fly
And the cost for this? Around £4000 - £6000! Now obviously this is quite...well, no, very expensive. BUT - these amounts are not paid in one lump sum (although you can pay for a series or course of lessons etc.) The first thing I am thinking of doing is going for a 'taster' lesson - something like this. However, thats just the start, because hiring a plane big enough to do anything worth while (like take people somewhere!) can cost anywhere up to £190 an hour!
Still, I think the initial investigation is the first step...
Soundtrack of the day: "Complete Stone Roses" (Compilation) by The Stone Roses.
Update: This afternoon was a good one - I managed to crack a problem that had been bugging me since last week. And its a great feeling, isn't it, when you FINALLY get something working thats been annoying you that long? So, I end the day on a high today... I bought some cream at lunchtime so I feel a couple of celebratory White Russians coming on this evening!
I have started to look into getting my PPL - or Private Pilots License. Apparantly, this is not as arduous as it may sound, the main inhibiting factor being the cost. A brief summary of whats needed: Learning To Fly
And the cost for this? Around £4000 - £6000! Now obviously this is quite...well, no, very expensive. BUT - these amounts are not paid in one lump sum (although you can pay for a series or course of lessons etc.) The first thing I am thinking of doing is going for a 'taster' lesson - something like this. However, thats just the start, because hiring a plane big enough to do anything worth while (like take people somewhere!) can cost anywhere up to £190 an hour!
Still, I think the initial investigation is the first step...
Soundtrack of the day: "Complete Stone Roses" (Compilation) by The Stone Roses.
Update: This afternoon was a good one - I managed to crack a problem that had been bugging me since last week. And its a great feeling, isn't it, when you FINALLY get something working thats been annoying you that long? So, I end the day on a high today... I bought some cream at lunchtime so I feel a couple of celebratory White Russians coming on this evening!
Monday, 29 January 2007
Motivation and Strawberry Milshakes (!)
I can't seem to get started today. Every now and then (probably more often than I'd care to admit) I find that I can't get motivated to work. I have things to do, obviously, but that kick-start of energy you need to get into something doesn't seem to come on days like this. Right now, this very minute, this is where I'd rather be;
In a large, comfy, leather armchair with my feet up on a foot stool. Next to me a small table with a large ice-cold strawberry milkshake, and in my hands a good book. Feeling like this, you can understand how I can't get motivated today!
This may be admitting something slightly weird about myself now - does anyone else have their mood, state-of-mind, attitude changed just by reading a book, as easily as I do? I have been reading Douglas Coupland lately (I just finished "All Families Are Psychotic" and am 60-odd pages into "Shampoo Planet"). I find that when I read his work, I think certain things, feel certain things - but then if I read, say, a Stephen King book (one of my favourite authors) they affect me in entirely different ways. I wondered if it was just me, or if any other listeners have similar experiences? Or am I just a nutter?
Soundtrack of the day: Shack (again!) but this time an album from 1999 - "H.M.S Fable". Also Ray LaMontagne again, but his first album "Trouble".
In a large, comfy, leather armchair with my feet up on a foot stool. Next to me a small table with a large ice-cold strawberry milkshake, and in my hands a good book. Feeling like this, you can understand how I can't get motivated today!
This may be admitting something slightly weird about myself now - does anyone else have their mood, state-of-mind, attitude changed just by reading a book, as easily as I do? I have been reading Douglas Coupland lately (I just finished "All Families Are Psychotic" and am 60-odd pages into "Shampoo Planet"). I find that when I read his work, I think certain things, feel certain things - but then if I read, say, a Stephen King book (one of my favourite authors) they affect me in entirely different ways. I wondered if it was just me, or if any other listeners have similar experiences? Or am I just a nutter?
Soundtrack of the day: Shack (again!) but this time an album from 1999 - "H.M.S Fable". Also Ray LaMontagne again, but his first album "Trouble".
Sunday, 28 January 2007
Nostalgia
I took Jake to a skateboard park this morning, and my God how many memories came flooding back. I used to skateboard when I was in my early to mid teens. I can honestly say they were some of the best years of my life. I met so many cool people, made loads of friends, and of course the skating part was excellent. Visiting this skate park today, I was reminded of the times I used to leave the house early Sunday morning, meet up with friends, get the bus into Harrow Bus Station then skate to the skate park in Wealdstone. We used to spend the whole day there, with the odd trip to the newsagent for Grape or Raspberry slush puppies. Lunchtime would see a swarm of skaters descend on the local McDonalds then back to the park for the afternoon. I remember the animosity felt toward the roller skaters... the sight of 10 - 15 skaters bombing through Harrow Shopping precinct... the day trips to other places to see ramps and parks that had built up mythical status through different skate magazines... the magazine R.A.D.
One of my favourite memories was when we heard about this empty swimming pool that was being used by just a few select skaters that knew about it. We set out to find it, using one of the skaters who already skated there as a guide, hopping over fences and wondering if this was some wild goose chase. Finally getting there, and it was like something out of a skaters film with this pool laid out before us. Happy days!
Anyway, I had a few goes on Jake's board this morning... and even though the mind knows what to do, and the spirit is willing, the body doesn't behave like it used to! I must have looked a right t*t. Another case of wishing I could turn the clock back, even for a little while...
Happy Sunday listeners....
One of my favourite memories was when we heard about this empty swimming pool that was being used by just a few select skaters that knew about it. We set out to find it, using one of the skaters who already skated there as a guide, hopping over fences and wondering if this was some wild goose chase. Finally getting there, and it was like something out of a skaters film with this pool laid out before us. Happy days!
Anyway, I had a few goes on Jake's board this morning... and even though the mind knows what to do, and the spirit is willing, the body doesn't behave like it used to! I must have looked a right t*t. Another case of wishing I could turn the clock back, even for a little while...
Happy Sunday listeners....
Saturday, 27 January 2007
Getting older
OK, I know Im only 34, so thats not really old, but I definitely feel like Im getting older.
My body aches more after any form of exercise (for example - played football Thursday night and even today I have a very sore lower back and my achilles tendons, for some reason, are also painful). I have more nostalgic thoughts about things I've done , and I sometimes long for when life was simpler when I was 10, 11 or 12 years old. I dont remember thinking these things when I was in my early to mid 20's... but as I said at the start, I know 34 isn't really ancient, is it, so why should I start thinking back with a rose-tinted view of past decades now?
Of course, there are some benefits... I have a wonderful family, a lovely home and a good job. I've been there, seen it and done it (well, some of it anyway!) and it amuses me when I talk to these early 20's blokes and listen to what they think is 'wisdom' - especially when it comes to women!
I dont think there is any real point or conclusion to this post today - just that getting older can suck but it does have some good points. Thoughts? Comments? Send them in to our usual address...
My body aches more after any form of exercise (for example - played football Thursday night and even today I have a very sore lower back and my achilles tendons, for some reason, are also painful). I have more nostalgic thoughts about things I've done , and I sometimes long for when life was simpler when I was 10, 11 or 12 years old. I dont remember thinking these things when I was in my early to mid 20's... but as I said at the start, I know 34 isn't really ancient, is it, so why should I start thinking back with a rose-tinted view of past decades now?
Of course, there are some benefits... I have a wonderful family, a lovely home and a good job. I've been there, seen it and done it (well, some of it anyway!) and it amuses me when I talk to these early 20's blokes and listen to what they think is 'wisdom' - especially when it comes to women!
I dont think there is any real point or conclusion to this post today - just that getting older can suck but it does have some good points. Thoughts? Comments? Send them in to our usual address...
Friday, 26 January 2007
Working from home
As the title suggests I'm not in the office today. I work from home every now and then and its very handy as I can get little bits done from home that I need to do, as well as still do my job.
However, there is something very decadent about sitting working on a Notes problem while wearing a dressing gown and slippers. Those of you familiar with the Dilbert cartoons will know this often a subject covered by Scott Adams.
One of the problems with working from home is the ease with which one becomes addicted to daytime TV. Im talking about Homes Under The Hammer, and Cash In The Attic. Or maybe Im turning into a middle aged woman?
My new phone is very swish and I think I'll enjoy using it. There's the normal grief of learning the new texting features when getting a new make of phone, but so far so good.
Yet again I dont have many plans for the weekend - but then I like that because it usually means a relxing one...
Played football last night and did quite well again - the team I was on won again which was nice.
However, there is something very decadent about sitting working on a Notes problem while wearing a dressing gown and slippers. Those of you familiar with the Dilbert cartoons will know this often a subject covered by Scott Adams.
One of the problems with working from home is the ease with which one becomes addicted to daytime TV. Im talking about Homes Under The Hammer, and Cash In The Attic. Or maybe Im turning into a middle aged woman?
My new phone is very swish and I think I'll enjoy using it. There's the normal grief of learning the new texting features when getting a new make of phone, but so far so good.
Yet again I dont have many plans for the weekend - but then I like that because it usually means a relxing one...
Played football last night and did quite well again - the team I was on won again which was nice.
Thursday, 25 January 2007
Curse my lack of knowledge...
Good and bad day today.
Bad - Im trying to work out how to combine all the necessary files to make a new DLL for a project Im working on. For you VB heads out there, this might seem like an easy thing to do, however I am NOT a VB person, so this is all new to me - but as Im the main developer its kind of my responsibility. I fine it very frustrating when attempting to do something like this and I dont have enough knowledge. Im sure I can muddle through it, but still, its taking longer than it should which is getting on my t*ts!
Good - My new phone arrived today - you can see it and have a play here
I've had to go through the usual rigmarole of copying contacts, charging, registering etc. but Im looking forward to seeing how good it is and playing with it.
Also, Im playing football tonight again, even though its brass monkeys out there. I enjoy the run out, but I dont half feel my age afterwards!
Have a safe Thursday listeners...
Bad - Im trying to work out how to combine all the necessary files to make a new DLL for a project Im working on. For you VB heads out there, this might seem like an easy thing to do, however I am NOT a VB person, so this is all new to me - but as Im the main developer its kind of my responsibility. I fine it very frustrating when attempting to do something like this and I dont have enough knowledge. Im sure I can muddle through it, but still, its taking longer than it should which is getting on my t*ts!
Good - My new phone arrived today - you can see it and have a play here
I've had to go through the usual rigmarole of copying contacts, charging, registering etc. but Im looking forward to seeing how good it is and playing with it.
Also, Im playing football tonight again, even though its brass monkeys out there. I enjoy the run out, but I dont half feel my age afterwards!
Have a safe Thursday listeners...
Wednesday, 24 January 2007
Its snowing!
A lovely sight looking out this morning with the snow everywhere. Although it completely screws up the roads because everyone seems to forget how to drive, when you're out of the house as early as I am and you see crisp, un-disturbed snow, it is nice.
Just ordered my new mobile - I've gone for a Sony Ericsson K800i. (I have seven days grace if I dont like it, so we'll see how I get on with it). Also, we have our big departmental meeting this morning, so I will update later with what came out of that.
Enjoy the snow for now listeners...
Update: So now the snow's gone and its just a wet day again. At least that means the roads should NOT be filled with loons and idiots later.
Interesting meeting today - the results from last year for the company look good, and the plan for next year is more growth, both organic AND aquisitional. (Is that a word?)
I then ate my bodyweight in Pizza that was bought in for lunch so feel quite bloated and greasy now.
Just ordered my new mobile - I've gone for a Sony Ericsson K800i. (I have seven days grace if I dont like it, so we'll see how I get on with it). Also, we have our big departmental meeting this morning, so I will update later with what came out of that.
Enjoy the snow for now listeners...
Update: So now the snow's gone and its just a wet day again. At least that means the roads should NOT be filled with loons and idiots later.
Interesting meeting today - the results from last year for the company look good, and the plan for next year is more growth, both organic AND aquisitional. (Is that a word?)
I then ate my bodyweight in Pizza that was bought in for lunch so feel quite bloated and greasy now.
Tuesday, 23 January 2007
Drinkies
I've been invited out (not just me, but the whole dept.) with the CIO and VP for drinks and maybe something to eat tonight. I'll probably go, but its one of those awkward situations where you have to be careful what you drink and what you say. This is why its rare that I socialise with work collegues, especially around alchohol. Dont get me wrong, Im not the sort of person who would get drunk and say something they shouldn't, but other people might and they might say something to me they shouldnt. And then it could all turn a bit nasty.
In this sort of situation I find that Im very aware of my behaviour - almost as if Im watching myself on TV... actually, a better analogy would be controlling myself in a video game. Making sure I say the right things, show enough interest in conversations etc. Why didn't I just say "No" to the invite, I hear you ask - well, I could have done but its the CIO - it'd be rude not to when he's paying on his corporate card, wouldn't it!?
Its the first time in quite a while that Im excited about some new album releases. Thing is, Im torn between downloading them from AllOfMP3, or buying the CD's themselves. The albums Im looking forward to are:
"Wincing The Night Away" by The Shins
"Hats Off To The Buskers" by The View
"The Good, The Bad And The Queen" by The Good, The Bad And The Queen
What to do, what to do...
Update: An interesting evening, was not as bad as I thought as I didn't really 'mix' with the guys from the U.S. Surprisingly, even though I only had three pints, I felt a little squiffy (if thats not too much of a 1950's term) and needed a curry when I got home. Which turned out not to be too nice... so a disappointing end to the night really.
In this sort of situation I find that Im very aware of my behaviour - almost as if Im watching myself on TV... actually, a better analogy would be controlling myself in a video game. Making sure I say the right things, show enough interest in conversations etc. Why didn't I just say "No" to the invite, I hear you ask - well, I could have done but its the CIO - it'd be rude not to when he's paying on his corporate card, wouldn't it!?
Its the first time in quite a while that Im excited about some new album releases. Thing is, Im torn between downloading them from AllOfMP3, or buying the CD's themselves. The albums Im looking forward to are:
"Wincing The Night Away" by The Shins
"Hats Off To The Buskers" by The View
"The Good, The Bad And The Queen" by The Good, The Bad And The Queen
What to do, what to do...
Update: An interesting evening, was not as bad as I thought as I didn't really 'mix' with the guys from the U.S. Surprisingly, even though I only had three pints, I felt a little squiffy (if thats not too much of a 1950's term) and needed a curry when I got home. Which turned out not to be too nice... so a disappointing end to the night really.
Monday, 22 January 2007
The cold is coming
I left my mobile phone at home today. D'oh! I hate doing that. Although its not as bad as some people make out ("Oh, it feels like I've lost a limb") - it is rather annoying. It means that no-one can get hold of me... but the upside is that no-one can get hold of me.
There's supposed to a be a cold snap this week, not looking forward to that. Not that I mind the cold, because I dont, but that usually means the roads go a bit mental because people forget how to drive. When I went out to get my lunch today, it was brass monkeys...
Very productive day today - fixed TWO applications that are running .asp / VBScript on an SQL backend. Seeing as Im not an asp / VBScript programmer Im pretty pleased with that.
The U.S head honchos arrived today - we have a meeting on Wednesday morning to discuss 2007 plans etc.
Soundtrack of the day: "The Corner Of Miles And Gil" by Shack.
There's supposed to a be a cold snap this week, not looking forward to that. Not that I mind the cold, because I dont, but that usually means the roads go a bit mental because people forget how to drive. When I went out to get my lunch today, it was brass monkeys...
Very productive day today - fixed TWO applications that are running .asp / VBScript on an SQL backend. Seeing as Im not an asp / VBScript programmer Im pretty pleased with that.
The U.S head honchos arrived today - we have a meeting on Wednesday morning to discuss 2007 plans etc.
Soundtrack of the day: "The Corner Of Miles And Gil" by Shack.
Sunday, 21 January 2007
Lazy Sunday afternoon
I didnt sleep too well last night. A mobile phone somewhere in the house had a very low battery. So, the low battery warning tone kept beeping every 5 minutes, which more than once woke me up. It was very windy again last night, which also kept waking me up. But the third thing that disturbed my sleep was that when I had been woken up, I'd hear 'house noises' and it would get me thinking irrational thoughts about someone being in or around the house. Its daft really - I wake up in the middle of the night and the rational part of my mind knows all the doors and windows are locked and there is no way into the house. But, hearing a knock, or a creak, or something similar at 3.30 in the morning when you're half asleep gets the darker part of your mind working. (Well it does me, anyway). As a result of all this Im feeing quite sleepy today.
Jake's football team won this morning - a good 6 - 0 (I think - lost count!) win away from home with Jake getting either 1 or 2. There's something about going to watch him play that really makes me nervous... Im sure Im not the only parent to think things like that, but its weird. A mixture of excitement, pride, nerves, dread.
As for the rest of the day? Not too sure - I might have company later for the Arsenal V Man Utd. game at 4.00, and then I suppose I'd better get myself sorted for work. Should be an interesting week this week - I have a meeting with my current and new boss (to 'hand me over' so to speak). Also, the C.I.O (Chief Information Officer) from the U.S is coming over and we have a big group meeting on Wednesday to talk about dept. plans for 2007, company plans etc.
We'll have to see what comes out of that. Anyway, have a nice rest-of-the-day listeners...
Jake's football team won this morning - a good 6 - 0 (I think - lost count!) win away from home with Jake getting either 1 or 2. There's something about going to watch him play that really makes me nervous... Im sure Im not the only parent to think things like that, but its weird. A mixture of excitement, pride, nerves, dread.
As for the rest of the day? Not too sure - I might have company later for the Arsenal V Man Utd. game at 4.00, and then I suppose I'd better get myself sorted for work. Should be an interesting week this week - I have a meeting with my current and new boss (to 'hand me over' so to speak). Also, the C.I.O (Chief Information Officer) from the U.S is coming over and we have a big group meeting on Wednesday to talk about dept. plans for 2007, company plans etc.
We'll have to see what comes out of that. Anyway, have a nice rest-of-the-day listeners...
Saturday, 20 January 2007
At least the rains stopped...
We had a problem with our washing machine today - it wasn't draining water when it had finished. Now, I'm not the worlds most technical man when it comes to this sort of stuff, but needs must so I had to have a look. First of all, I noticed that the cold water input pipe had a kink in it... so I asked Ray Davies to pi$$ off and get out of my house. har har. Sorry. No, the cold water input had a kink in it so I thought "OK, I'll just undo it from the back of the washing machine and straighten it out". Notice the missing words from that sentence? I'll just turn the water off and then...
Cue water peeing out all over the place. D'oh! Re-connected the water pipe sharpish and then turned off the water. THEN undid the input pipe and straightened it out. Next, I had to see if the filter was blocked or something, so knelt down at the front of the machine and undid the filter at the bottom.... cue soaking part two. D'oh! Plugged the filter back in, got a tray to drain the water onto then tried again. Anyway, after sorting through the disgusting gunk in the filter and cleaning it all out, re-placed and re-connected everything and Bob's ya mothers brother - washing machine fixed.
City are playing this afternoon, so I'll update the post with the result and thereby my mood!
Half Time Update: City can't keep the ball, we have no drive, and Blackburn have totally dominated. Feeling very worried about the rest of the game. 0 - 1 down.
Full Time Update: We Lost. 0 - 3. We were utter sh*te. The thing is, when City lose it puts me in such a cr@ppy mood. I think I will open a bottle of red, relax in a hot bath and do f*ck all for the rest of the night. Sometimes I hate football.
Cue water peeing out all over the place. D'oh! Re-connected the water pipe sharpish and then turned off the water. THEN undid the input pipe and straightened it out. Next, I had to see if the filter was blocked or something, so knelt down at the front of the machine and undid the filter at the bottom.... cue soaking part two. D'oh! Plugged the filter back in, got a tray to drain the water onto then tried again. Anyway, after sorting through the disgusting gunk in the filter and cleaning it all out, re-placed and re-connected everything and Bob's ya mothers brother - washing machine fixed.
City are playing this afternoon, so I'll update the post with the result and thereby my mood!
Half Time Update: City can't keep the ball, we have no drive, and Blackburn have totally dominated. Feeling very worried about the rest of the game. 0 - 1 down.
Full Time Update: We Lost. 0 - 3. We were utter sh*te. The thing is, when City lose it puts me in such a cr@ppy mood. I think I will open a bottle of red, relax in a hot bath and do f*ck all for the rest of the night. Sometimes I hate football.
Friday, 19 January 2007
Friday on my mind...
Im a bit sore today. I played pretty well last night, but my fitness is still an issue - after the game I had one of their players say to me "You're still damn quick, Im sure you're faster than last year" and I said that maybe I was, but the only problem is I can go quick in bursts, but then need 20 minutes to recover! (I know some of you will make all sorts of sexual jokes about me after that statement... please dont bother, I can read your minds like books)
Some of you may have noticed all the titles for these posts this week have been songs. For those hard-of-thinking among you, here is the complete list and their artists:
Soundtrack of the day: "The Crane Wife" by The Decemberists & The Big Lebowski soundtrack.
Not too sure of my plans for this weekend yet - but I know for a fact that tonight I am going to enjoy a quiet night with a bottle of red wine and my guitar. Have a good weekend listeners, more nonsense maybe tomorrow.
UPDATE: This is a very cool site - Jeremy Clarkson on the Top Gear site. Very funny...
Some of you may have noticed all the titles for these posts this week have been songs. For those hard-of-thinking among you, here is the complete list and their artists:
- (Just another) Manic Monday - The Bangles
- Goodbye Ruby Tuesday - Rolling Stones
- Wednesday's Song - John Frusciante
- Thursday's Child - David Bowie
- Friday On My Mind - A Walk To Remember
Soundtrack of the day: "The Crane Wife" by The Decemberists & The Big Lebowski soundtrack.
Not too sure of my plans for this weekend yet - but I know for a fact that tonight I am going to enjoy a quiet night with a bottle of red wine and my guitar. Have a good weekend listeners, more nonsense maybe tomorrow.
UPDATE: This is a very cool site - Jeremy Clarkson on the Top Gear site. Very funny...
Thursday, 18 January 2007
Thursday's Child
Windy today! The wind was whipping round the eaves last night, kept on waking me up. We have something outside our bedroom window that causes the wind to whistle (not too sure what) and it sounds like a kettle sometimes, and it can get pretty annoying.
Soundtrack of the day: Bluegrass!
Im playing football this evening with a friend and his workmates - I used to play quite alot, but I've kind of retired (until Im old enough to get into a Veterans team - 35+) so my fitness is suffering. It should be a good session tonight though, it usually is. It should be interesting playing in gale force winds though.
I've also nearly finished the project I went up to Birmingham for - I think I only have about two more days effort to get it done. Which is nice.
And tonight, I have the first series of The Green Wing to watch on DVD when I get back from football - so while Im sitting there aching at least I should have something to laugh at.
Oh, and I got sent a joke today from a relative in Manchester via text. Here it is (apologies in advance for some of the language)
An octopus walks into a bar and announces "I can play any musical instrument you give me".
So an Englishman gives him a guitar and says "Go on then smart @rse"...
and the octopus proceeds to play it better than Hendrix himself.
Then an Irishman points him to the piano in the corner of the bar and says "Lets hear you on that then"...
and the octopus proceeds to play it with more talent than Elton John.
A Scotsman then says "Aye, right, lets see you play THIS then" and hands him a set of bag pipes...
After about 5 minutes of fumbling around the Scotsman starts laughing and says "Ha! not too smart now are ye - whats up, can ye no play it?"
Wherein the octopus replies....
...wait for it....
"Play it?? Im gonna f*ck her brains out when I get her pyjamas off!"
Soundtrack of the day: Bluegrass!
Im playing football this evening with a friend and his workmates - I used to play quite alot, but I've kind of retired (until Im old enough to get into a Veterans team - 35+) so my fitness is suffering. It should be a good session tonight though, it usually is. It should be interesting playing in gale force winds though.
I've also nearly finished the project I went up to Birmingham for - I think I only have about two more days effort to get it done. Which is nice.
And tonight, I have the first series of The Green Wing to watch on DVD when I get back from football - so while Im sitting there aching at least I should have something to laugh at.
Oh, and I got sent a joke today from a relative in Manchester via text. Here it is (apologies in advance for some of the language)
An octopus walks into a bar and announces "I can play any musical instrument you give me".
So an Englishman gives him a guitar and says "Go on then smart @rse"...
and the octopus proceeds to play it better than Hendrix himself.
Then an Irishman points him to the piano in the corner of the bar and says "Lets hear you on that then"...
and the octopus proceeds to play it with more talent than Elton John.
A Scotsman then says "Aye, right, lets see you play THIS then" and hands him a set of bag pipes...
After about 5 minutes of fumbling around the Scotsman starts laughing and says "Ha! not too smart now are ye - whats up, can ye no play it?"
Wherein the octopus replies....
...wait for it....
"Play it?? Im gonna f*ck her brains out when I get her pyjamas off!"
Wednesday, 17 January 2007
Wednesday's Song
I could really go off on one today. One of those subjects that really polarises opinion raised its head this morning - bad driving.
Now, I do not claim to be the best driver in the world. Of course not. However, I do know Im better than a lot of drivers who have somehow obtained licenses. Two things this morning I saw on the way to work are prime examples of the sorts of stuff Im talking about. Driving at 20mph on a clear, open road with no traffic, hardly any parked cars? This causes people who want to make progress but are still driving at the speed limit, not nut cases to get angry and try and over take which in turn causes accidents. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! YOU WILL NOT CRASH AND DIE IF YOU GO AT 30MPH!
The other thing I saw this morning (which mainly involves drivers of buses, taxis and white vans) is pulling out with no consideration for the approaching car's speed. (i.e. me!) TWICE on the way to work, as I approached a junction, a bus just pulled out in front of me. No worries about how fast I was going or anything - their attitude is just "Im driving a bus, Im pulling out, what the f*** are you going to do about it". This causes me to brake quite hard, which COULD cause a car behind me who's not paying attention to hit me up the backside.
This I think comes back to an earlier post about inconsiderate people. I think there is an overriding sense of "I'll look out for me, everyone else can go hang". Two examples there, both can be traced back to "I'll do what I want and I dont care about anyone else".
I could now get into how I think society is falling apart, how and why people are the way they are and whats caused it etc. However, I think that is for another time. Suffice it to say - Families apart, I can't remember the last time I saw someone perform a completely selfless act for the sake of someone else, with no consideration for themselves. How bad is that?
Anyway - City won last night so we're through to the fourth round of the F.A Cup. Go on the blues!
Now, I do not claim to be the best driver in the world. Of course not. However, I do know Im better than a lot of drivers who have somehow obtained licenses. Two things this morning I saw on the way to work are prime examples of the sorts of stuff Im talking about. Driving at 20mph on a clear, open road with no traffic, hardly any parked cars? This causes people who want to make progress but are still driving at the speed limit, not nut cases to get angry and try and over take which in turn causes accidents. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! YOU WILL NOT CRASH AND DIE IF YOU GO AT 30MPH!
The other thing I saw this morning (which mainly involves drivers of buses, taxis and white vans) is pulling out with no consideration for the approaching car's speed. (i.e. me!) TWICE on the way to work, as I approached a junction, a bus just pulled out in front of me. No worries about how fast I was going or anything - their attitude is just "Im driving a bus, Im pulling out, what the f*** are you going to do about it". This causes me to brake quite hard, which COULD cause a car behind me who's not paying attention to hit me up the backside.
This I think comes back to an earlier post about inconsiderate people. I think there is an overriding sense of "I'll look out for me, everyone else can go hang". Two examples there, both can be traced back to "I'll do what I want and I dont care about anyone else".
I could now get into how I think society is falling apart, how and why people are the way they are and whats caused it etc. However, I think that is for another time. Suffice it to say - Families apart, I can't remember the last time I saw someone perform a completely selfless act for the sake of someone else, with no consideration for themselves. How bad is that?
Anyway - City won last night so we're through to the fourth round of the F.A Cup. Go on the blues!
Tuesday, 16 January 2007
Goodbye Ruby Tuesday...
Early start this morning. I set my alarm for 6.00AM, thinking that would give me enough time to shower, get dressed etc. However, as is quite usual with me, my body clock actually woke me at 5.00AM… so tired today.
The journey up to Birmingham was nice though – there was something slightly romantic and I would say typically English about going through the countryside by train in the half-light. And the soundtrack to that part of the journey – “Until The Sun Turns Black” by Ray LaMontagne – made it very relaxing.
Home.
Journey home wasn't too bad, and amazingly Public Transport managed NOT to c*ck things up for me! Nice views through the countryside again, this time accompanied by Nick Drake on the MP3 player. Luckily, my meeting finished a little early so I got an earlier train, which was nice.
No gripes / rants today... now Im home Im feeling very tired as the day has caught up with me. Nighty night listeners, more guff tomorrow.
The journey up to Birmingham was nice though – there was something slightly romantic and I would say typically English about going through the countryside by train in the half-light. And the soundtrack to that part of the journey – “Until The Sun Turns Black” by Ray LaMontagne – made it very relaxing.
Home.
Journey home wasn't too bad, and amazingly Public Transport managed NOT to c*ck things up for me! Nice views through the countryside again, this time accompanied by Nick Drake on the MP3 player. Luckily, my meeting finished a little early so I got an earlier train, which was nice.
No gripes / rants today... now Im home Im feeling very tired as the day has caught up with me. Nighty night listeners, more guff tomorrow.
Monday, 15 January 2007
Just another manic Monday...
Well, not really. A quiet day today. Im away in Birmingham tomorrow, so its been hard to get into anything substantial. I have a list of projects to go through and their due dates, so when Im back in the office on Wednesday I should be able to get stuck in.
Rant of the day: impolite / inconsiderate people. Im amazed that there are not more fights in the office when people are so bl**dy rude. It does NOT take that much effort to say thank you, or clean up after yourself does it?
Point 1 - How many times have I held an office door open for someone (being nice, polite etc.) only for that person to walk through it and not even acknowldge you? I have a habit now of saying "Don't Mention It!" loud enough for them to hear, but I know one day soon it's all gonna kick off. Im not a bl**dy doorman, Im not standing there all day for your convenience, SAY THANK YOU you ignorant tw@t.
Point 2 - we have a communal kitchen here where you are able to make hot drinks (tea, coffee etc.) that is used by a fair number of staff. And I get so bleedin' angry when people make a mess and do NOT clean it up. I have seen people go into this kitchen, spill milk, tea, coffee all over the worktop and just walk out! Or leave a bottle of milk out of the fridge because they are too bl**dy lazy to put it away properly. And if I were to say something like "Oi, can you clean that up? / Can you put that away?" I'D end up being told to mind my own business which means I'd want to push that persons face through the wall. Can you imagine what their house is like? Disgusting.
People say I shouldn't let these sort of things wind me up - but politeness and basic hygiene costs nothing does it? This is a pet hate of mine, so I will probably return to this subject more than once (its nice to have a forum for me to air these grievances...) But for now, rant over.
Soundtrack of the day: "OK Computer" by Radiohead. (Listened to in an attempt to calm me down after nearly blowing a fuse because of the above reasons). Voted best album of the 1990's, although I dont know if I agree with that. Its alright, but I can think of better ("Definitely Maybe" by Oasis being one)
So off to Birmingham tomorrow... hopefully public transport won't let me down (ha!) and I will have some slightly interesting things to post. Have a safe Monday everyone.
Rant of the day: impolite / inconsiderate people. Im amazed that there are not more fights in the office when people are so bl**dy rude. It does NOT take that much effort to say thank you, or clean up after yourself does it?
Point 1 - How many times have I held an office door open for someone (being nice, polite etc.) only for that person to walk through it and not even acknowldge you? I have a habit now of saying "Don't Mention It!" loud enough for them to hear, but I know one day soon it's all gonna kick off. Im not a bl**dy doorman, Im not standing there all day for your convenience, SAY THANK YOU you ignorant tw@t.
Point 2 - we have a communal kitchen here where you are able to make hot drinks (tea, coffee etc.) that is used by a fair number of staff. And I get so bleedin' angry when people make a mess and do NOT clean it up. I have seen people go into this kitchen, spill milk, tea, coffee all over the worktop and just walk out! Or leave a bottle of milk out of the fridge because they are too bl**dy lazy to put it away properly. And if I were to say something like "Oi, can you clean that up? / Can you put that away?" I'D end up being told to mind my own business which means I'd want to push that persons face through the wall. Can you imagine what their house is like? Disgusting.
People say I shouldn't let these sort of things wind me up - but politeness and basic hygiene costs nothing does it? This is a pet hate of mine, so I will probably return to this subject more than once (its nice to have a forum for me to air these grievances...) But for now, rant over.
Soundtrack of the day: "OK Computer" by Radiohead. (Listened to in an attempt to calm me down after nearly blowing a fuse because of the above reasons). Voted best album of the 1990's, although I dont know if I agree with that. Its alright, but I can think of better ("Definitely Maybe" by Oasis being one)
So off to Birmingham tomorrow... hopefully public transport won't let me down (ha!) and I will have some slightly interesting things to post. Have a safe Monday everyone.
Sunday, 14 January 2007
A sunny Sunday
A very relaxing day today. The weather is nice (although a little chilly) but at least the sun's out.
My in-laws arrived at around 14.00 today to spend a couple of days with us. Its always nice when they come for a visit, and one of the jobs they will be doing is to put down a laminate floor for us in our new conservatory. (Now I know a lot of you will think "you lazy ba$tard" but in my defence, they have offered to do it while I am out at work). I may even post some pics up here when its finished.
I have also tried to fix a problem with my uncle-in-law's MP3 player. He bought one off some website somewhere, and the annoying thing is, its original language (for the software AND user manual) is NOT English, but it has been translated into it. This has caused some problems as some of these extracts will show:
"6.1.1.2 The interface manifestation The style is together the stop interface of Music"
"4.1.2.7 Grow to press REC key in to record sound the appearance to combine to start record sound"
"4.2.6 Circulating enactment interface"
I sh*t you not, these are ALL direct quotes from the user manual - so as you can imagine I have had to admit defeat!
Monday tomorrow - another working week. I am up in Birmingham on Tuesday for a meeting, but will still endevour to update this daily ("Oh Joy" I hear you shout)
Have a nice rest-of-the-weekend Listeners and more stuff to be posted soon...
My in-laws arrived at around 14.00 today to spend a couple of days with us. Its always nice when they come for a visit, and one of the jobs they will be doing is to put down a laminate floor for us in our new conservatory. (Now I know a lot of you will think "you lazy ba$tard" but in my defence, they have offered to do it while I am out at work). I may even post some pics up here when its finished.
I have also tried to fix a problem with my uncle-in-law's MP3 player. He bought one off some website somewhere, and the annoying thing is, its original language (for the software AND user manual) is NOT English, but it has been translated into it. This has caused some problems as some of these extracts will show:
"6.1.1.2 The interface manifestation The style is together the stop interface of Music"
"4.1.2.7 Grow to press REC key in to record sound the appearance to combine to start record sound"
"4.2.6 Circulating enactment interface"
I sh*t you not, these are ALL direct quotes from the user manual - so as you can imagine I have had to admit defeat!
Monday tomorrow - another working week. I am up in Birmingham on Tuesday for a meeting, but will still endevour to update this daily ("Oh Joy" I hear you shout)
Have a nice rest-of-the-weekend Listeners and more stuff to be posted soon...
Saturday, 13 January 2007
Saturday night with friends
*** WARNING - Some of this content may be found offensive by some people. Please be aware I have no intention of upsetting or offending anyone. These are my own thoughts and opinions. Peace and Love to everyone y'all. ***
I spent a very nice evening with a couple of good friends tonight, drinking White Russians aka Caucasians.
(The Recipe: Two shots vodka, one shot Kaluha, Ice, top up with single cream. Superb!)
Anyway, we ended up watching the Keith Allen programme from the other day about Tourettes Syndrome. I know its a terrible condition for those who suffer from it, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy for its embarrassing social impact. However... my God is it funny.
Even Keith Allen said the same... it isn't a very nice condition to have, but it is (to quote him) "f*ckin' funny!"
It also showed a few clips from the 1980's documentary "John's not mad" (which I hadn't seen before) and even that, although it was supposed to be a serious documentary about this poor boys condition, was hilarious. Tourettes Syndrome - an interesting way to spend a Saturday night!
This then presents the question of 'Guilty Pleasures' - you know the sort of things I mean. Those subjects that are seen as taboo by 'decent' society but which nonetheless cause mirth and hilarity. I will confess to finding the film 'Time Bandits' supremely funny. Not for Terry Gilliam and Michael Palin's excellent writing - but for the fact that "little people"are seen running, fighting and falling about. It never fails to crack me up.
So I throw this issue open to the general populous. Guilty Pleasures. Come one come all and CONFESS!
More nonsense tomorrow.
I spent a very nice evening with a couple of good friends tonight, drinking White Russians aka Caucasians.
(The Recipe: Two shots vodka, one shot Kaluha, Ice, top up with single cream. Superb!)
Anyway, we ended up watching the Keith Allen programme from the other day about Tourettes Syndrome. I know its a terrible condition for those who suffer from it, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy for its embarrassing social impact. However... my God is it funny.
Even Keith Allen said the same... it isn't a very nice condition to have, but it is (to quote him) "f*ckin' funny!"
It also showed a few clips from the 1980's documentary "John's not mad" (which I hadn't seen before) and even that, although it was supposed to be a serious documentary about this poor boys condition, was hilarious. Tourettes Syndrome - an interesting way to spend a Saturday night!
This then presents the question of 'Guilty Pleasures' - you know the sort of things I mean. Those subjects that are seen as taboo by 'decent' society but which nonetheless cause mirth and hilarity. I will confess to finding the film 'Time Bandits' supremely funny. Not for Terry Gilliam and Michael Palin's excellent writing - but for the fact that "little people"are seen running, fighting and falling about. It never fails to crack me up.
So I throw this issue open to the general populous. Guilty Pleasures. Come one come all and CONFESS!
More nonsense tomorrow.
Jinxs - do they exist?
I am a football fan - I support Manchester City. More than once I have been watching my team holding on for a precious draw or winning 1 - 0 when my significant other says (in all innocence according to her!) "Oh, we look like winning this" or "we're drawing, but the other team doesn't look like getting anything". What happens? The other team scores for a 1 - 0 win, or they get TWO goals and my team ends up losing! Usually, within 10 or 15 minutes of the so called 'innocent' comment. In some instances, it has happened in less that 30 seconds!
Today, I was lucky. A good friend of mine came round this afternoon to keep an eye on the goals and results as they came in. He's a QPR fan. My significant other, with about 15 minutes to go, does her usual trick. "A draw at Bolton will be a good result". I was INSTANTLY livid - "No, No, No dont say stuff like that you know what happens!" (expecting a sudden goal against us, so turning out 0 - 0 draw to a 1 - 0 loss). But, she THEN said "QPR winning - that will be a good result won't it?". What happens? In the space of 10 minutes, QPR go from being a goal up to drawing 1 - 1! THEN they get a man sent off. THEN they give away a second goal! Result of the game? 2 - 1 LOSS to QPR!
Now, people have ridiculed me for believing that there is some cosmic force that can affect results like this, just by someone saying the wrong thing. But I have LOTS of examples of this actually happening, so I cannot to anything else but believe in this.
So now I throw this open to my listeners - do you have similar experiences? Or am I being daft? Answers on a post card.
Today, I was lucky. A good friend of mine came round this afternoon to keep an eye on the goals and results as they came in. He's a QPR fan. My significant other, with about 15 minutes to go, does her usual trick. "A draw at Bolton will be a good result". I was INSTANTLY livid - "No, No, No dont say stuff like that you know what happens!" (expecting a sudden goal against us, so turning out 0 - 0 draw to a 1 - 0 loss). But, she THEN said "QPR winning - that will be a good result won't it?". What happens? In the space of 10 minutes, QPR go from being a goal up to drawing 1 - 1! THEN they get a man sent off. THEN they give away a second goal! Result of the game? 2 - 1 LOSS to QPR!
Now, people have ridiculed me for believing that there is some cosmic force that can affect results like this, just by someone saying the wrong thing. But I have LOTS of examples of this actually happening, so I cannot to anything else but believe in this.
So now I throw this open to my listeners - do you have similar experiences? Or am I being daft? Answers on a post card.
Friday, 12 January 2007
Its the weekend (state the bleedin' obvious)
Another working week done. Although, to be fair, I haven't exactly been working my b@lls off this week as I have been on the aforementioned .ASP course. Still, its always nice to get to Friday afternoon knowing one has a whole two days to oneself. Im looking forward to Saturday night, as I am seeing two of my best friends for drinks and other nonsense, so that should be good.
So what have we learned this week?
Also, I've decided to recommend albums on here that I have been listening to alot. In the style of Jessie from the Fast Show (and those listeners who dont know what Im talking about wont get this, but never mind...)
This week, I are be mostly listening to - The Shins and their 2nd album Chutes Too Narrow.
Have a nice weekend everyone, I'll post more ramblings soon.
So what have we learned this week?
- .ASP and VBScript is good (and easy!)
- I have re-affirmed my loathing for Public Transport (London Underground in particular)
- I've realised that Blogging is actually cool
Also, I've decided to recommend albums on here that I have been listening to alot. In the style of Jessie from the Fast Show (and those listeners who dont know what Im talking about wont get this, but never mind...)
This week, I are be mostly listening to - The Shins and their 2nd album Chutes Too Narrow.
Have a nice weekend everyone, I'll post more ramblings soon.
Thursday, 11 January 2007
How can something get so interesting so quickly
This is weird. Sitting here now, I want to post more stuff on my blog. I never even thought about blog's until today, but now I have one, I want to post lots and lots of stuff. I think I could get into this - hence the subject line.
However, I need to be careful as I dont want to fill it with a load of nonsense and turn people off from reading it.
One thing I will comment on - a good friend of mine who shall remain nameless (Watford FC fan, works for a very popular buddy reconnection web site, co-owns and co-runs a very good football chants web site - http://www.footballchants.org) emailed me after I told him about my blog. He mentioned an actor from Eastenders and how similar we are. Can I just say - BA$TARD!
Anyway - another update tomorrow hopefully.
However, I need to be careful as I dont want to fill it with a load of nonsense and turn people off from reading it.
One thing I will comment on - a good friend of mine who shall remain nameless (Watford FC fan, works for a very popular buddy reconnection web site, co-owns and co-runs a very good football chants web site - http://www.footballchants.org) emailed me after I told him about my blog. He mentioned an actor from Eastenders and how similar we are. Can I just say - BA$TARD!
Anyway - another update tomorrow hopefully.
Be gentle, its my first time
So, Im sitting in an .ASP training course, and inspired by the trainer Darren Burford (future 2007 IITT Trainer of the year - http://www.trainingpressreleases.com/newsstory.asp?NewsID=2359 ) I have created my own blog.
Im not too sure what will be appearing in this - but as you can guess from the title a LOT of things annoy me and its nice to have somewhere to voice these without the risk of upsetting someone enough to get a smack in the back of the head.
There is always the question of who will read this. Anyone? Only people I tell about it? Will word of mouth actually do anything for it? Who knows? This is why choosing the content is a bit of a problem. And as for frequency of updates... No idea. Daily? Bi-Daily? (Is that a word?) I'll have to see what happens (and how long I can be @rsed to do this. However, those who know me know a LOT of things wind me up!)
First rant of the day: London Underground (cue moans and groans about "Yeah we know we've heard that before"). Those who know me know I do not use London Underground on a daily basis. However, it seems that when I do, at some point SOMETHING will happen to wind me up. Today, on the journey to this very course, I had to change trains at North Acton (the one I was on developed a 'technical fault' - seemed to be running fine to me). THEN there were signal failures on the line, so for about 5 stops it was "stop - start -sudden stop - watch fat lady fall over - start - sudden stop - hear fat lady swear as she nearly fell over again" etc. I knew it was too good to be true to get to this course every day without SOMETHING happening. Ba$tard$.
As a side note to that - is it bad to say that watching people who are "overly blessed in the body mass department" fall over can be funny?
Anyway - feeling quite proud that this is my first post online - and I want to re-assure all my listeners that I will endevour to be HONEST on here, and not write what I think people want to read.
So there you go.
Im not too sure what will be appearing in this - but as you can guess from the title a LOT of things annoy me and its nice to have somewhere to voice these without the risk of upsetting someone enough to get a smack in the back of the head.
There is always the question of who will read this. Anyone? Only people I tell about it? Will word of mouth actually do anything for it? Who knows? This is why choosing the content is a bit of a problem. And as for frequency of updates... No idea. Daily? Bi-Daily? (Is that a word?) I'll have to see what happens (and how long I can be @rsed to do this. However, those who know me know a LOT of things wind me up!)
First rant of the day: London Underground (cue moans and groans about "Yeah we know we've heard that before"). Those who know me know I do not use London Underground on a daily basis. However, it seems that when I do, at some point SOMETHING will happen to wind me up. Today, on the journey to this very course, I had to change trains at North Acton (the one I was on developed a 'technical fault' - seemed to be running fine to me). THEN there were signal failures on the line, so for about 5 stops it was "stop - start -sudden stop - watch fat lady fall over - start - sudden stop - hear fat lady swear as she nearly fell over again" etc. I knew it was too good to be true to get to this course every day without SOMETHING happening. Ba$tard$.
As a side note to that - is it bad to say that watching people who are "overly blessed in the body mass department" fall over can be funny?
Anyway - feeling quite proud that this is my first post online - and I want to re-assure all my listeners that I will endevour to be HONEST on here, and not write what I think people want to read.
So there you go.
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