Thursday, 6 January 2011


So I've had a delivery of some sort. Well, an attempted delivery. I have no idea what it is - either the CDs I've ordered or the Filipino bride from that catalogue - but either way it needs a signature. The card left says "simply visit our website and arrange to have you parcel delivered at a time to suit YOU!" So tappity tap went my keyboard and up pops the site. Reference number and post code entered and there's my delivery.
"I can only really have it delivered Saturday" thinks our hero so I click on the drop down list of available dates and... Monday to Friday only. Shit it.
I'm at work all day Monday to Friday so that's no good.
Then I noticed a phone number..."maybe I can arrange to have it delivered to work instead" thinks I.
So beep beep goes my phone keypad and the recorded lady says "these calls are charged at 10p per minute from a BT land line..." and some such nonsense. 10p per minute?! And what do I then hear? "Press 1 for blah blah press 2 for blah blah..." so before I even get to speak to anyone it's cost me 20p. And then? "We are experiencing high call volumes..." seriously? At 7 O'clock at night? "...please hold or call back later". So I didn't get to speak to anyone and it's cost me about 50p. ARSE!
So guess which company is gonna get shouted at tomorrow?? Ggrrrr.

07/01/2011 Update - I managed to speak to a voice this morning. Here's a rough transcript of that awesome conversation...
"I work Monday to Friday is there any chance you can deliver it on Saturday..."
"Nope." Right. Thanks.
"Can you maybe deliver it to my work address so I can sign for it?"
"Let me see, what's your work post code?"
"PR5 8AR"
"..... No, sorry, we can't do that as it's in the wrong depot." Shit. Arse. Wank.
"So what can I do?"
"You can either go and collect it yourself..." from fcukin' Warrington?!? Piss off "...or can you maybe have a neighbour sign for it?"
Luckily my LGF lives next door (I know, convenient right??) so I said to deliver it to her house as long as it was after 15.00.
"Oh they probably won't deliver until after 16.00 anyway..." she says
"Perfect" says I.
So who wants to bet my LGF will get a card through her door saying they attempted to deliver etc.? I get the feelings I may never get this delivery!


Anonymous said...

... from work I hope!!

Anonymous said...

Is it DWP by chance? I hate them, they are worse than useless!

Simon said...

No it's My Home Delivery Network... never heard of them and now I know why!

Anonymous said...

They are based in Worcester

Phil Dawson said...

cant be worse than a UK bank NOT letting you change you home address while standing in the branch however you CAN withdraw all the money from the account cos you have the PIN. What are they protecting?

Simon said...

Mr Dawson you've been on this 3rd rock from the sun long enough to know how crappy, pedantic and bureacratic banks can be. (Welcome back to my blog again btw)