Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Cocking arse biscuits

I knew, KNEW, I shouldn't have got excited about my new phone today. Something will always come up that screws things up and more often than not it's someone elses incompetence.
I was supposed to have my new shiny sexy handset delivered today to my work address so I could sign for it and be happy. But no. The handset has actually been delivered to my old address down in London. And because I'm not there (obviously) it was actually delivered to my old next door neighbour.
When I ordered the phone on Friday I found out that the address on my account was still my old London address - OK, my fault for not updating it. However, the person I spoke to on the phone said this would not be a problem, they would update my account address with my new address and this would all be sorted. "Hold on", says I, "I won't be at my home address I will be at work, can you deliver it there?". "Yes of course" says idiot number one "I can arrange that with no problem - it will be delivered on Tuesday. Enjoy your new phone".
So a weekend of anticipation passes and I arrive in the office this morning bouncing around with excitment (I'm a sucker for new technology) and sit waiting patiently for the courier to turn up.
Come around 9.30 I thought I'd check on the courier website and see where my parcel was in the system and what do I see? "Delivered 10/01/2011"... to my old next door neighbour. So all the "Don't worry I'll sort it" bollocks was just that. Bollocks. Hairy dangly ones.
So as you can imagine I was on the phone pretty sharpish and tried to remedy the situation. And the kicker? After 15 minutes of a call I was told "I'll just sort this out please hold" and then I was met with the cutoff signal. I was cut off. F*CKING ARSE HATS.
So now, at the time of writing, I am expecting a very apologetic call back - but as yet after waiting 20 minutes (I was told it would be more or less straight away) still no call back. So guess who's getting back on the phone again now... stay tuned.

UPDATE: After talking to a smashing bloke called Steven, my phone should now be delivered on Thursday (f*ckin' Thursday... a patient man I am not!). However I am not taking that word as gospel until the handset is in my grubby little mitts as this is what the last person said would happen and where did it end up? F*ckin' London. Sake. So we'll see what happens now.

I'm going away now to perform some voodoo .....

Wednesday Morning Update: I just checked on the courier website - it says my new handset is "out for delivery" - I am making a prediction now, they will attempt to deliver it to my home address rather than my work address as I asked. Anyone want to disagree with me?


Anonymous said...

I saw the perfect mug for you today Simon, Grumpy Old Gits it was called ! Thing is you aren't even 40 yet......


Simon said...

No I'm not but as my friend Mr. P Snr would say, I'm gonna be 40 in a minute

jojohedgehog said...

I am sorry but 'smashing bloke' cracked me up and i could no longer sympathise with you, well I didn't anyway because you didn't update your address and then probably ranted at lots of very poorly paid call center workers, I doubt I would have called you back either haha!
sorry my lovely x

Simon said...

Right, first of all you're correct in that I should have updated my address - but when I ordered the phone I was told it would be ok and be sent to the correct address. That was a lie. Secondly, I never rant at call centre workers per se, I always make it clear I'm pissed of with the company not the individual unlucky enough to answer the phone to me. However, in this case it was the fault of one fuck wit and I made sure they knew that. And I'd just like to thank everyone on here AND on my facebook for all the sympathy I've received. Not!

Phil Dawson said...

Can someone make a website where f'wits can be publicly named and shamed. Perhaps then we can cull their numbers and improve the human race bit by bit. The scary part is that sometimes that f'wit has 5+ kids @ home so its getting exponentially worse!