Monday 23 April 2007

The agony of anticipation

I had to do something today that I wasn't looking forward to. (Its not really important for this post what it was). I had decided to do this particular thing last week, but couldn't actually do it until today. So, for the whole weekend (and this morning while waiting for the right time) I had that horrid feeling of wanting to get it over and done with, but not wanting to do it.
I hate that. Obviously, its not the first time I've experienced it. There are butterflies in the stomach, you can't concentrate on anything else until you've got the situation resolved. You know the time of day (for example) that you are going to do a particular thing and time seems to slow down and won't get there so you can get it over and done with - but then the very next instant after you've thought that you think "God its not that long and then I'll have to..." whatever.
But, quite often the thing you need to do doesn't turn out as bad as you feared... and the uplifting sense of relief you get almost makes the pain of waiting worthwhile.
Almost.
So what does this teach us? Well, one thing I have learned over the years is alot of the times things don't turn out as bad as you think - but its always best to be prepared for the worst. Then, you're ready if the sh*t hits the fan, and the sense of relief you get when things aren't all that bad makes you feel good. But I still hate the agony of anticipation...

Soundtrack of the day: "Favourite Worst Nightmare" by Arctic Monkeys. (Believe the hype).

Update: Someone sent me a list of zen-isms... I will post one a day for your amusement.

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. "

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