Just splurged again - two new wedges. However, I got them for a good price, they're brand new, and you can guess where from... yep, eBay. I basically got two of the clubs I want for the same price as one would be from a retailer.
The problem is that most people would now be sitting here smiling, thinking "I've bought myself a little treat, I feel good" but I suffer cronic buyers remorse, and all I can think of is "shouldn't have done it, shouldn't have done it, bad man, bad man".
I can't remember that last thing I did that was pure pleasure for me. I mean, with no feelings of guilt, remorse, disapointment etc. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy doing things for my family and friends, that makes me happy, but just some pure, unadulterated pleasure for me has not happened for quite some time. Even when I go to do something simple, like visit the golf range for an hour for myself, I worry that I'd be spending too long away from home which is taking time away from the wife stopping her doing what she wants. I know this can come across as very conceited, but I do put other people first alot more than I put myself first. Some occasions thats the way it should be (my son, my wife) but other times? hhmmm... Should one of my resolutions be "be more selfish"(but in a good way)? A random post that... sorry.
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2 comments:
Guilt is that wonderful gift that just keeps on giving.
Even Jesus had to get away by himself sometimes to rest and recharge before heading back to heal the masses of others who needed him.
Some time to yourself will make you a better husband and father.
Now isn't MOM a grand commenter?! She is full of wisdom and I daresay she is one to listen to! I'm glad she is around.
And this is something I really must point out I suffer from but EVERYONE suffers from it.
It is worry over how much money I spent or how much time I spend away from the kids or on something that takes me away from my kids and a million other ways I feel guilty.
It's hard to find a way to deal with it.
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