He's growing up

So Jake was walking home from school with me the other day, and he proceeded to recite a couple of limericks. I can't remember all of the first one, but the second one was

"There was an old man from Crocket, who went to the moon in a rocket, the rocket went bang his eyes went clang and they found his nose in his pocket".

The other one was something to do with...
"There was a young woman from Ealing, who had a peculiar feeling..."

Now most of you recognise those as limericks with a slightly ruder tone. I looked at Jake when he said the 'Crocket' one and said "That's not the real version, is it, you've cleaned it up for me..." to which he replied by nearly pee'ing himself with laughter... "No, they go like this!" and he then told me the 'proper' versions. So he's 10 and coming out with stuff like this already...!

"There was an old man from Crocket, who went to the moon in a rocket, the rocket went bang, his balls went clang and they found his willy in his pocket".

"There was a young lady from Ealing, who had a peculiar feeling, she lay on her back, opened her crack, and pee'd all over the ceiling".

Now the shocking thing is he already knows things like 'crack'... but then he started to say another one to which I had to shout "No - enough!" before he could get too far...

"There's a lady with a finger in her f@**y..." Good grief!!

And to think we have a lot worse to come...

Soundtrack of the day: "Desert Sessions" by Josh Homme and his friends

A sense of accomplishment

My windscreen washer wasn't working on the car. "Shite" I thought. It could be the pipes, the pump, the nozzles... I was envisioning an expensive trip to the garage and having to sell a kidney to pay for it. However, after a bit of thought, I decided to try the fuse. So off to the local car parts store I toddled, 30p well spent and a new 10amp fuse in my pocket.
Got home, popped the bonnet, fuse inserted... psshhhhh!! Perfect.

Now I know it's not a big job, but that sense of "nice one - job done" was a welcome one today.
I believe more and more in the adage "Hope for the best, expect the worst". The more I adopt this attitude, the better things seem. More than once I've had a phone call to make, or an appoinment, or a conversation to have with someone, and living by this little motto really helps.

Anyway - Friday tomorrow so things will look even better. Have a lovely evening all...

A new addiction

Well, maybe addiction is a bit strong, but I've started to visit my towns message board web site more and more often. It started the other day, when the road behind the one I live on had an armed man (apparently) in one of the houses. I was walking home (I think with the dog) and there were police everywhere stopping people walking down a particular road, but when I asked one of the rozzers "what's occuring" he said "not much". Yeah right I thought. Anyway, it was suggested I try the my towns message board to see if anyone had posted any details - and since then I've been visiting regularly. It's like a quaint, amateur-ish web site where people post all sorts of things about where I live. Traffic problems, vandalism stories, requests for help, local gossip, all sorts. Today, I have responded to a lady who was looking to rent a marquee (I posted a link to a web site - I mean come on woman, google it!) and to a bloke who was asking about traffic down a local road. So now I have another web site that will eat into my time at work!

Soundtrack of the day: "Violator" by Depeche Mode.

Something frustrating

I know a lot of people feel like this, but it's particularly strong with me at the moment (no, not the Force...). I want more cool, modern technology in my life, but I can't afford it. Annoying isn't it?
My current list of wants:

Apple MacBook
New mobile phone (not sure which model - part of me says Blackberry, part of me says iPhone)
New MP3 player (yes, probably the iTouch)
Wii Fit board
New TV (42" flat screen hi def jobby)

So it's not a massive list, but the cost? Anywhere upwards of £3k! Bugger.

Back to the grind.... I mean, the joys of returning to work

Yes, my first day back in the office today since Christmas Eve. The office is still here, sadly, and my desk has been left mercifully unmolested. I now need to try and fire up the ol' motivation and get cracking. However, catching up on blogs I haven't had the chance to read, keeping up with the football transfer gossip (the transfer window is open until Monday Feb. 2nd) and just general lack of wanting to work is making it hard.
With the start of the new year, there are already a couple of things on my horizon that I can look forward to. In March, I am playing in the annual golf society days that I've done for two years running now. You can read about the previous one here - the actual title of the society is the Syndicate 8 Golf Society. (It's a police thing.).
In July we're planning on another trip to Cornwall - a kind of re-run of my mate Colin's stag do, but this time just four of us. So there'll be more surfing, more drinking, and more laughter to be had.
** Spooky! As I was writing this post, I received an email from the organiser of the golf trip confirming details! **

Anyway - enough dithering. I must crack on! Have a good Tuesday people.

Oh, Soundtrack of the day: "The Specials" by The Specials... going back in time with a bit of Ska.

Reoccuring nightmare

Now I know normally, it's one of the most boring things in the world to listen to someone tell the tale of some dream they have. Same goes for nightmares. At the time, there was something terrifying about being chased through a field of rubber gloves by a dribbling school of hippos... but when you try and tell someone about it, you just get a funny look and a phone call from your doctor about increasing the dosage.

However, I have had a reoccuring nightmare about a plane crash - but not a plane I'm on.
It usually has me stood outside somewhere - near home, or one time, at my office - and seeing plane, a big jumbo, flying low over head. I can then see it's going to come down and crash into nearby houses, and it only seems to be me who can tell what's going to happen. And then I see everything in near-slow motion, the plane hitting the houses, the explosion, the feel of the huge crash through my feet, the screaming engines... it's quite horrible.

The thing is, I have no fear of flying, I've never been in a near-death experience on a plane (he says while touching wood) and actually flying to me is like getting on a bus... no problem at all. So, I have no idea where this nightmare comes from. What do you all think?

Happy 2009

I'd like to wish all my 10's of readers a happy and prosperous 2009. If you did anything special last night, I hope it all went off without a hitch and you were with those nearest and dearest to you.

And I hope you all keep coming back here as often as possible.