I was thinking as I was drifting off last night and I have started to understand why men enter a mid-life crisis and now easy it would be to succumb to one.
My body is not how it used to be - it's done some hard miles in these 38 years and bits are growing that I don't want to grow, going missing when I want to keep them, and generally changing in a most unpleasant way.
I can understand now how men (and probably some women) approach a point in their lives when they think "enough is enough". They realise that they will never be as slim, as fit, as attractive & young looking as they used to be and they react against it.
With men it's usually different clothes, expensive toys or letching after younger women. With women it's too much makeup, tummy tucks & boob jobs, and lusting after toy boys. (I know, there are some MASSIVE generalizations there but you get the picture...).
I'm starting to accept these home truths about myself now and I'm fighting against them with every fibre of my being. Don't worry - I'm not gonna start growing a comb over or buying a motorbike or chasing 21 year old girls because a) I don't have enough hair for a comb over b) I can't afford a motorbike and c) I'm not attractive to younger women in the slightest.
But my body is obviously telling me things when my achilles are killing me after playing football, my stomach will not shrink no matter what I do or don't eat, my body takes longer each morning to get started... its almost as if it's saying "accept who you are - you're NOT 25 any more no matter what you might think".
There is still some pride left in me that I don't want to be seen as a chunky, balding, flabby embarrasment of a dad to Jake. I still want to look good for my LGF. I want to still play football next season and walk a round of golf without needing oxygen and mouth-to-mouth by the 15th green. But maybe it's time I stop being so hard on myself and start accepting the shape my body is drifting into. I will never be a fat bastard - I'd chop off my hands to stop me eating before I'd let that happen - but punishing my body unnecessarily seems like a waste of the years I have left on this rock.
So there. A little insight into what I was thinking last night. No real point to the post.
Three days left to go before I leave here and I can't wait. Have a nice Wednesday.