I was thinking as I was drifting off last night and I have started to understand why men enter a mid-life crisis and now easy it would be to succumb to one.
My body is not how it used to be - it's done some hard miles in these 38 years and bits are growing that I don't want to grow, going missing when I want to keep them, and generally changing in a most unpleasant way.
I can understand now how men (and probably some women) approach a point in their lives when they think "enough is enough". They realise that they will never be as slim, as fit, as attractive & young looking as they used to be and they react against it.
With men it's usually different clothes, expensive toys or letching after younger women. With women it's too much makeup, tummy tucks & boob jobs, and lusting after toy boys. (I know, there are some MASSIVE generalisations there but you get the picture...).
I'm starting to accept these home truths about myself now and I'm fighting against them with every fibre of my being. Don't worry - I'm not gonna start growing a comb over or buying a motorbike or chasing 21 year old girls because a) I don't have enough hair for a comb over b) I can't afford a motorbike and c) I'm not attractive to younger women in the slightest.
But my body is obviously telling me things when my achilles are killing me after playing football, my stomach will not shrink no matter what I do or don't eat, my body takes longer each morning to get started... its almost as if it's saying "accept who you are - you're NOT 25 any more no matter what you might think".
There is still some pride left in me that I don't want to be seen as a chunky, balding, flabby embarrassment of a dad to Jake. I want to still play football next season and walk a round of golf without needing oxygen and mouth-to-mouth by the 15th green. But maybe it's time I stop being so hard on myself and start accepting the shape my body is drifting into. I will never be a fat bastard - I'd chop off my hands to stop me eating before I'd let that happen - but punishing my body unnecessarily seems like a waste of the years I have left on this rock.
So there. A little insight into what I was thinking last night. No real point to the post.
Three days left to go before I leave here and I can't wait. Have a nice Wednesday.
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5 comments:
hahah..you young whipper snapper...wait till you're my age!
I still ride a motorbike tho', lust after toyboys (cant catch them tho' too damn fast, and wear my daughters clothes.
Think positive, and you'll get through it all. xxxx
Wiltshire lass - I'm not feeling too down about it. I do try and stay positive but I must admit to sometimes looking in the mirror and letting out big sigh.
(Thanks for stopping by)
I assume you meant 'attracted' to younger women as apposed to 'attractive', I am sure there are lots of younger women who would find you attractive.
Your not even in your 40's yet, thats a shocker at first I can tell you, but also by then you have accepted who you are and you do feel more comfortable in your own skin, well I know I grew a lot more happier in myself than I was in my 30's,and look at me, I bagged myself a toy boy(ish) :-P xxxx
Almost the end of the week now x
Actually I meant both... I am not attracted to younger women and they're not attracted to me!
I hadn't realised I had been 'bagged'... is that the same as tea bagging?!
But yes - I'm gladded you 'bagged' me x
Everything is impermanent mate that's life there's a lot of pressure from advertising to look and feel young. Everything comes from the mind have a positive view and the world looks rosy. You've got a lot going for you just from reading your blog you are intelligent and introspective great qualities to bring to family, friends and work colleagues. But when you feel down cut yourself some slack your worth that :-)
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