At last one of my good friends has started a blog. Its listed as a link on my "Sites I visit" but here's a link: http://www.ilikesausages.blogspot.com/
Not much been going on apart from that. Im out for dinner tonight for my anniversary, Jake has a friendly tomorrow morning, and then its back to the grind next week.
Oh, City won today - 3-1 at home against Newcastle. And to be fair, even though Im biased, we played brilliantly!
Oh, and I have a couple of moans (haven't had one for a while).
1. As mentioned above I'm off out for my anniversary dinner tonight. So I thought I would phone the restraunt and ask for a nice table as its my 10th anniversary. And the cold, miserable bitch on the end of the phone could not have given two sweaty f*cks. I asked very nicely if there was any chance I could be given a nice table as it was my 10th wedding anniversary and all I got was "A lot of people have asked for window tables - I dont know what I can do" and that was it. And you could tell she wasn't smiling on the phone or anything... I tell you, if I have a crappy table tonight, I've got the mardy cow's name and I will be asking for her.
2. Someone has done some 'fly tipping' down the alley at the back of my house. Bastards. So I phoned the council on Tuesday afternoon (when it happened) to report it... I got "We'll look into that for you sir" and that was it. The other half phoned later in the week to see what was going on (as the rubbish was still there) only to be told "one of the people who looks after this is on long term sick the other is on leave"... so the rubbish is STILL there... its blocking the whole alley, so the bin men can't get down it to collect our rubbish and it's gonna attract rats, foxes etc. Why do I pay my council tax?! If the rubbish is still there on Monday when I get back from work, guess who's gonna get a phone call...
Anyway, well done Mr. GP for for finally setting up that blog, I will be an avid reader, and have a good rest of the weekend listeners.
Saturday, 29 September 2007
Tuesday, 25 September 2007
Curry Night
One of my friends and I are taking another friend out for a curry tonight, as it was his birthday on Saturday. Just the three of us, a boys curry night... I can't wait.
Im actually enjoying work again at the moment... I have a Java project to work on, so Im busy all day which is nice ("So how can you write this blog!" I hear you ask... well Im allowed a couple of minutes break aren't I?!)
Soundtrack of the day: "Automatic For The People" by R.E.M.
Speaking of music, there are a few new albums due out that Im after... Foo Fighters, R.E.M have a new one out soon (I think), Ian Brown's new one, Devendra Banhart, PJ Harvey... ouch, expensive!
Oh God, as Im typing this the song Everybody Hurts has just started.. this ALWAYS brings a tear to my eye.. I'll have to hide my face from the people in the office for a minute.
That song really touches a nerve with me for some reason.
Anyway, have a good Tuesday listeners.
Im actually enjoying work again at the moment... I have a Java project to work on, so Im busy all day which is nice ("So how can you write this blog!" I hear you ask... well Im allowed a couple of minutes break aren't I?!)
Soundtrack of the day: "Automatic For The People" by R.E.M.
Speaking of music, there are a few new albums due out that Im after... Foo Fighters, R.E.M have a new one out soon (I think), Ian Brown's new one, Devendra Banhart, PJ Harvey... ouch, expensive!
Oh God, as Im typing this the song Everybody Hurts has just started.. this ALWAYS brings a tear to my eye.. I'll have to hide my face from the people in the office for a minute.
That song really touches a nerve with me for some reason.
Anyway, have a good Tuesday listeners.
Monday, 24 September 2007
A New World
I've seen a new world... a world of comfort, leg room, good service, a choice of menu, free drinks and flat out sleeping... I've seen the world of long haul business class.
Yes, I splurged on the way back from Chicago and upgraded myself to Business Class. And by Odin's trident, what a difference.
I had an assigned seat in economy class for somewhere in the middle of a row on the way back and asked to change, but because the flight was so full they couldn't really do anything, so I thought "Sod it" and took the hit on the plastic. But it was SO worth it. All the things listed above made such a difference on a 7 hour flight. But anyway, Im back now and back to reality. Shockin' weather this morning, knackered air conditioning in the office etc. But I did get to drink a proper cup of tea first thing in the morning (which you can't get in the U.S).
All in all, the trip out in the U.S was very productive, enjoyable, and worthwhile. I had a great time with my friend Scott out there, and I've come back to the U.K with some decent work to be getting on with. I found it easy to get over the jet lag thing because I arrived home at 07.00 on Saturday and stayed up all day until around 21.30 (about 33 hours with the time difference) so although I was K N A C K E R E D it was worth it.
Anyway, I should be back to more regular updates this week, so tune in again soon listeners...
Yes, I splurged on the way back from Chicago and upgraded myself to Business Class. And by Odin's trident, what a difference.
I had an assigned seat in economy class for somewhere in the middle of a row on the way back and asked to change, but because the flight was so full they couldn't really do anything, so I thought "Sod it" and took the hit on the plastic. But it was SO worth it. All the things listed above made such a difference on a 7 hour flight. But anyway, Im back now and back to reality. Shockin' weather this morning, knackered air conditioning in the office etc. But I did get to drink a proper cup of tea first thing in the morning (which you can't get in the U.S).
All in all, the trip out in the U.S was very productive, enjoyable, and worthwhile. I had a great time with my friend Scott out there, and I've come back to the U.K with some decent work to be getting on with. I found it easy to get over the jet lag thing because I arrived home at 07.00 on Saturday and stayed up all day until around 21.30 (about 33 hours with the time difference) so although I was K N A C K E R E D it was worth it.
Anyway, I should be back to more regular updates this week, so tune in again soon listeners...
Tuesday, 18 September 2007
Hello from Chicago
So Im here in the good ol' US of A. I dont really wanna give a blow-by-blow account of what has happened so far, as you'll all get bored (who said, "So whats new!" ????)
The flight over on Sunday morning was OK. Got lucky with seat allocation so was on the aisle by the emergency exit so LOADS of leg room.
Had a really nice afternoon playing golf with my friend Scott, and had a lovely evening and dinner at his house that night (thanks to both Scott and his wife Kathy for making me feel welcome and the delicious steaks and wonderful home made brownie cake!)
Yesterday was the first day in the office, meeting the rest of the project team, getting work assignments etc. Last night we went to a restaurant called the Yard House and had a nice dinner.
It seems weird, its only Tuesday, but it feels like we've been here a lot longer. I think now we're actually into coding the week will start to go quicker.
Im playing nine holes this afternoon after work, so that should be good too.
Anyway listeners, have a good rest of Tuesday, I'll try and update more tomorrow.
The flight over on Sunday morning was OK. Got lucky with seat allocation so was on the aisle by the emergency exit so LOADS of leg room.
Had a really nice afternoon playing golf with my friend Scott, and had a lovely evening and dinner at his house that night (thanks to both Scott and his wife Kathy for making me feel welcome and the delicious steaks and wonderful home made brownie cake!)
Yesterday was the first day in the office, meeting the rest of the project team, getting work assignments etc. Last night we went to a restaurant called the Yard House and had a nice dinner.
It seems weird, its only Tuesday, but it feels like we've been here a lot longer. I think now we're actually into coding the week will start to go quicker.
Im playing nine holes this afternoon after work, so that should be good too.
Anyway listeners, have a good rest of Tuesday, I'll try and update more tomorrow.
Wednesday, 12 September 2007
Deja Vu
We all know what deja vu is. Personally, it creeps me out a bit, so when I experience it, I tend to try and do something that breaks the cycle. (Saying something random, moving in an unexpected way etc.). Normally, when I experience it, it lasts between 10 and 30 seconds and it only really happens once or twice every couple of weeks. Yesterday, however, I had a very strange day... from about mid afternoon until bed time I experienced it in tiny, short bursts every half hour or so. When I say short bursts, I literally mean for about a second I had that horrid deja vu feeling. I would be sitting there, watching TV (while I was at home, not work, obviously) and 'bang' a split second of deja vu then 'bang' its gone. It was such a weird feeling. A lot of experts think deja vu is linked to certain chemicals in the brain, and if thats the case I have no idea what the chemicals in my brain were doing yesterday. As an aside, I dont know why but I usually associate deja vu with something bad happening... isn't that weird?
Anyway, another boring day lined up today. No work to do, so I will be clock watching all day itching to get home. Have a good Wednesday all...
Anyway, another boring day lined up today. No work to do, so I will be clock watching all day itching to get home. Have a good Wednesday all...
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
20 Interesting facts nicked from someone elses website
1. A zebra is white with black stripes.
2. All the planets in our solar system rotate anticlockwise, except Venus. It is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
3. Hummingbirds are the only animal that can also fly backwards.
4. Insects do not make noises with their voices. The noise of bees, mosquitoes and other buzzing insects is caused by rapidly moving their wings.
5. The cockroach is the fastest animal on 6 legs covering a meter a second.
6. The word "listen" contains the same letters as the word "silent".
7. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.
8. A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
9. India invented the Number System. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
10. The whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.
11. A hippopotamus can run faster than a man.
12. India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history.
13. 'Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia' is the fear of long words.
14. Didaskaleinophobia is the fear of going to school.
15. A snail can sleep for 3 years.
16. The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start.
17. In 1883 the explosion of the volcano Krakatau put so much dust into the earth's atmosphere that sunsets appeared green and the moon appeared blue around the world for almost two years.
18. "Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
19. Twenty-Four-Karat Gold is not pure gold since there is a small amount of copper in it. Absolutely pure gold is so soft that it can be molded with the hands.
20. Electricity doesn't move through a wire but through a field around the wire
2. All the planets in our solar system rotate anticlockwise, except Venus. It is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
3. Hummingbirds are the only animal that can also fly backwards.
4. Insects do not make noises with their voices. The noise of bees, mosquitoes and other buzzing insects is caused by rapidly moving their wings.
5. The cockroach is the fastest animal on 6 legs covering a meter a second.
6. The word "listen" contains the same letters as the word "silent".
7. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.
8. A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
9. India invented the Number System. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
10. The whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.
11. A hippopotamus can run faster than a man.
12. India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history.
13. 'Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia' is the fear of long words.
14. Didaskaleinophobia is the fear of going to school.
15. A snail can sleep for 3 years.
16. The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start.
17. In 1883 the explosion of the volcano Krakatau put so much dust into the earth's atmosphere that sunsets appeared green and the moon appeared blue around the world for almost two years.
18. "Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
19. Twenty-Four-Karat Gold is not pure gold since there is a small amount of copper in it. Absolutely pure gold is so soft that it can be molded with the hands.
20. Electricity doesn't move through a wire but through a field around the wire
Commuting
I couldn't do the drive I did yesterday everyday. I'd go insane. I had to go to Gloucester and back yesterday, I was helping out a couple of fellow developers who will be working on a Java project with me over the coming weeks. The journey went OK, but I dont know how people can commute for that long every day. Two hours there, an hour and a half on the way back.
Im so used to just travelling for like ten or fifteen minutes each way anything else seems excessive.
This from the man who used to travel by public transport to the Docklands a few years ago, when it used to take up to two hours each way.
Plans this week - nothing tonight, the other half is away tomorrow night so I'll be babysitting and watching the England game, football on Thursday night and nothing on Friday. (I was supposed to be playing golf tonight and Friday night, but my playing partner twisted his ankle at the weekend so can't play). Oh and working from home on Thursday.
Packing on Saturday then Sunday morning, 08.00AM, on a plane to Chicago...
I should be able to keep the blog up to date from there, so I'll let you know how it goes.
Have a nice Tuesday all - Soundtrack of the day: "Appetite For Destruction" by G 'n' R...
Im so used to just travelling for like ten or fifteen minutes each way anything else seems excessive.
This from the man who used to travel by public transport to the Docklands a few years ago, when it used to take up to two hours each way.
Plans this week - nothing tonight, the other half is away tomorrow night so I'll be babysitting and watching the England game, football on Thursday night and nothing on Friday. (I was supposed to be playing golf tonight and Friday night, but my playing partner twisted his ankle at the weekend so can't play). Oh and working from home on Thursday.
Packing on Saturday then Sunday morning, 08.00AM, on a plane to Chicago...
I should be able to keep the blog up to date from there, so I'll let you know how it goes.
Have a nice Tuesday all - Soundtrack of the day: "Appetite For Destruction" by G 'n' R...
Thursday, 6 September 2007
Life could be about to get more interesting...
...but thats not necessarily a good thing.
http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30200-1283041,00.html
http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30200-1283041,00.html
Bored...
...bored bored bored bored. My job sucks at the moment. I have f*ck all to do. Some of you might say "well go and find some work" but unfortunately its not that easy. Projects have to be signed off, approved etc. so I can't just spot a problem and create something to fix it. Its very frustrating. The only thing I have to do at the moment is go through our catalogue of databases and see which are still being used! I mean come on, its the sort of thing I'd give to a brain dead temp. not something a developer should be doing. Today I envisage sitting at my desk (re)reading "The Time Waster Diaries" (quite amusing) and watching the clock tick by. I've had one email from someone in Belgium asking me to write some code on a button to send out in an email, but that will only take me about an hour so Im saving it up for later.
Some good news in the post yesterday, Jake got back into Watford for this season - really pleased for him. (The journey blows, but of course you do anything for your offspring).
Played golf yesterday, and on the 11th I really lost my temper. Im not normally like that.. (ok, well, Im not normally as bad as I was yesterday) but for some reason, I hit a bad drive and completely lost it. I have no idea why. Effin' and jeffin' all over the place. It was almost like an out of body experience, watching myself blow up the way I did. The drive wasn't even that bad... very strange. Can't explain it. I mean, I went nuclear.
Anyway, playing football tonight, golf again on Friday (worried about getting finished in time. We're playing with a bloke who ain't that good, and Im worried that we wont get round before it gets too dark to see!) and then its back to the routine of football training for Jake each weekend. Im also playing a match on Sunday afternoon (11-a-side) so Im looking forward to that. Have a good Thursday listeners.
Update: Nicked this link from Phil's blog... its quite a cool site! ViewDo
Some good news in the post yesterday, Jake got back into Watford for this season - really pleased for him. (The journey blows, but of course you do anything for your offspring).
Played golf yesterday, and on the 11th I really lost my temper. Im not normally like that.. (ok, well, Im not normally as bad as I was yesterday) but for some reason, I hit a bad drive and completely lost it. I have no idea why. Effin' and jeffin' all over the place. It was almost like an out of body experience, watching myself blow up the way I did. The drive wasn't even that bad... very strange. Can't explain it. I mean, I went nuclear.
Anyway, playing football tonight, golf again on Friday (worried about getting finished in time. We're playing with a bloke who ain't that good, and Im worried that we wont get round before it gets too dark to see!) and then its back to the routine of football training for Jake each weekend. Im also playing a match on Sunday afternoon (11-a-side) so Im looking forward to that. Have a good Thursday listeners.
Update: Nicked this link from Phil's blog... its quite a cool site! ViewDo
Tuesday, 4 September 2007
What a great story....
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007410099,00.html
I dont normally read The Sun, but this story made me laugh. And the name of the person in charge of the disciplinary hearing... could it be more appropriate?!
I guess the names that policemen get called by a lot of people ring true, especially in regard to this particular officer.
I could make all sorts of jokes about truncheons and 'abusive' policemen, but I don't want to give too much away - read the story it'll all become clear.
Soundtrack of the day: "Under The Blacklight" by Rilo Kiley
Update: I bought the latest 'Q' magazine today, and they list the top 10 most perfect songs ever written, as polled by a load of renowned singer / song writers. I have listened them here for your consideration:
1. "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen (the Jeff Buckley version)
2. "Strawberry Fields Forever" by The Beatles
3. "Life On Mars?" by David Bowie
4. "Sympathy For The Devil" by The Rolling Stones
5. "Strange Fruit" by Billie Holiday
6. "Bitter Sweet Symphony" by The Verve
7. "Born To Run" by Bruce Springsteen
8. "God Only Knows" by The Beach Boys
9. "Blowin' In The Wind" by Bob Dylan
10. "Perfect Day" by Lou Reed
I dont normally read The Sun, but this story made me laugh. And the name of the person in charge of the disciplinary hearing... could it be more appropriate?!
I guess the names that policemen get called by a lot of people ring true, especially in regard to this particular officer.
I could make all sorts of jokes about truncheons and 'abusive' policemen, but I don't want to give too much away - read the story it'll all become clear.
Soundtrack of the day: "Under The Blacklight" by Rilo Kiley
Update: I bought the latest 'Q' magazine today, and they list the top 10 most perfect songs ever written, as polled by a load of renowned singer / song writers. I have listened them here for your consideration:
1. "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen (the Jeff Buckley version)
2. "Strawberry Fields Forever" by The Beatles
3. "Life On Mars?" by David Bowie
4. "Sympathy For The Devil" by The Rolling Stones
5. "Strange Fruit" by Billie Holiday
6. "Bitter Sweet Symphony" by The Verve
7. "Born To Run" by Bruce Springsteen
8. "God Only Knows" by The Beach Boys
9. "Blowin' In The Wind" by Bob Dylan
10. "Perfect Day" by Lou Reed
Monday, 3 September 2007
Insanity In The Workplace
You have to try at least ONE of these things this week - the more the better:
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE
1. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice).
2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
4. Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chi-Chi."
5. Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
6. "Hi-light" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.
7. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive".
8. Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
9. Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.
10. Insist that your e-mail address be: zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com
11. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him if he wants want fries with that.
12. Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
13. Suggest that beer be put in the water/soda machine.
14. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronised chair dancing.
15. Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."
16. Determine how many cups of coffee are "too many."
17. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
18. For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the fish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you can catch in your mouth.
19. Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc. in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
21. Put decaf in the coffee-maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
22. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark 17-inch paper, 99 copies.
23. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favours".
24. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
25. When driving colleagues around insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep 'em tuned up."
26. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
27. Practice making fax and modem noises.
28. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
29. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
30. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
31. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
32. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
33. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
34. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
37. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
38. type only in lowercase.
39. Don't use any punctuation either
40. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and re-route the whole M4 through the NEC car park.
41. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
42. As much as possible skip rather than walk.
43. Wear bright shirt and tie combo's and hang around colleagues desks.
44. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
45. Show your testicles at office social occasions.
46. Ask people what gender they are.
47. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
48. Sit in your the car park at lunch time pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
49. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles"
50. Stand on the inside of a toilet cubical. Knock on the inside until someone asks if you are alright. At this point say in an irrate manner, "yes I'm fine, can I come in now".
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE
1. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice).
2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
4. Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chi-Chi."
5. Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
6. "Hi-light" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.
7. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive".
8. Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
9. Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.
10. Insist that your e-mail address be: zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com
11. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him if he wants want fries with that.
12. Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
13. Suggest that beer be put in the water/soda machine.
14. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronised chair dancing.
15. Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."
16. Determine how many cups of coffee are "too many."
17. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
18. For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the fish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you can catch in your mouth.
19. Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc. in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
21. Put decaf in the coffee-maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
22. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark 17-inch paper, 99 copies.
23. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favours".
24. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
25. When driving colleagues around insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep 'em tuned up."
26. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
27. Practice making fax and modem noises.
28. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
29. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
30. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
31. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
32. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
33. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
34. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
37. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
38. type only in lowercase.
39. Don't use any punctuation either
40. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and re-route the whole M4 through the NEC car park.
41. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
42. As much as possible skip rather than walk.
43. Wear bright shirt and tie combo's and hang around colleagues desks.
44. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
45. Show your testicles at office social occasions.
46. Ask people what gender they are.
47. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
48. Sit in your the car park at lunch time pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
49. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles"
50. Stand on the inside of a toilet cubical. Knock on the inside until someone asks if you are alright. At this point say in an irrate manner, "yes I'm fine, can I come in now".
September already??
Where's the year gone! Can you believe its September already? Kids are going back to school, and once Halloween is out of the way, you just know Christmas decorations are gonna start going up.
Not a bad weekend this weekend - not much happened on Saturday...Oh, apart from beating Scott at online golf! Rule Britannia! Unfortunantely, he only had time for one game, so its now 3 -2 in the series.
Sunday Jake had his first training session of the new season. He did OK. I think all the boys are gonna find it harder this year, coz you know that there will be some freakish kids out there that are gonna turn 9 but are already 5'8" tall and 10 stone!
This week, the only plans I have are Golf on Wednesday, football on Thursday, and possibly golf on Friday. Breakfast of the day: Sultana & Apple Oatibix. Yum.
Unfortunately, on the work front, its very quiet again. I could quite easily sit here at my desk all day and not do anything, as I dont really have stuff to do. How bad is that?
Anyway, have a good Monday listeners...
Oh and GP - if you're reading this - where's your blog??? Come on, you know you want to.
Not a bad weekend this weekend - not much happened on Saturday...Oh, apart from beating Scott at online golf! Rule Britannia! Unfortunantely, he only had time for one game, so its now 3 -2 in the series.
Sunday Jake had his first training session of the new season. He did OK. I think all the boys are gonna find it harder this year, coz you know that there will be some freakish kids out there that are gonna turn 9 but are already 5'8" tall and 10 stone!
This week, the only plans I have are Golf on Wednesday, football on Thursday, and possibly golf on Friday. Breakfast of the day: Sultana & Apple Oatibix. Yum.
Unfortunately, on the work front, its very quiet again. I could quite easily sit here at my desk all day and not do anything, as I dont really have stuff to do. How bad is that?
Anyway, have a good Monday listeners...
Oh and GP - if you're reading this - where's your blog??? Come on, you know you want to.
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