First story complete

Hello.
So on my new 'fiction only' blog Experimental Fiction I have finished my first short story.
It's only about 3700 words long, three chapters each split into two parts, but I think it takes you from beginning to end in a way that isn't too hurried.  I can't say where I got the idea from (as I don't really know!), just that the images I had in my mind were very clear, and I tried my best to present them in a way that would let the reader spend a little time in this world of my imagination.
I spoke to my writer friend (I love saying that) and said to her that I wished I could see into peoples minds while they read the story, and see if the pictures that are being played on their internal screen are the same as the ones I saw - or how different they were.
So where next?  Well, I do want to continue writing, and I do have a few ideas that I'm toying with.  I don't know if the format I used (releasing each chapter when complete) will work for a longer story but I think I'll give it a go.  I have really valued the feedback I've received, especially from Jules Lucton (her website can be found here).

If you've not taken the time to go read my story yet, please do.  I should only take a few minutes of your time, and I would really love to know what you think of it, good or bad.  Is there something you would have done differently?  Would you have changed anything in the narrative? Any and all comments will be read and responded to.

In other news : not much.  Work and fatherhood are all that's happening right now.  No new music recently, and nothing on TV has excited me.  The only vaguely interesting thing is I'm toying with 12 bar blues on my guitar at the moment.  But you won't really care about that will you?

Anyway - without wanting to sound like I'm begging(!) please take a look at my short story on the link above, and let me know what you think.

Peace.