It's like making love

My attitude toward blogging, that is.
No, not sweaty, panicky and with mixed results.
I mean I'm hoping to start off slow (the odd post here and there over the next few weeks) build up momentum (a few more posts, more often) and then approach a massive messy climax (a post every couple of days).
I do miss writing things for my reader to read but my motivation and inspiration are like my hair - very sparse and fading fast.   What triggered another bout of desire to write something was just a harmless tweet from someone I follow (https://twitter.com/#!/cjade82).  We've had a couple of conversations via another mutual twitter acquaintance (https://twitter.com/#!/NotBanksy01) and she just happened to tell me she'd been "reading and enjoying my blog".
"So why don't I post more?" I thought.  There's nothing stopping me, when I haven't got no.1 son with me I have bog all else to do in the evenings... so why not get going again?

We can expect posts on subjects such as:
 - My attitude toward social media
 - How am I coping after my divorce (that should be a riot, that one!)
 - Fatherhood
 - Why I still can't abide the general, unwashed, ignorant, masses
 - My alternating mental state
 - Questions and subjects to spark debate and thinking among my loyal followers follower.

So stay tuned, if you're still around thank you for you patience, and please feel free to share this with others.

Peace.

Try something new for 30 days

I was sent this link at work:

http://www.ted.com/talks/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days.html

If you ignore the over the top U.S enthusiasm (as much as we love our U.S cousins, those of us that are British prefer something a little more 'reserved') the idea of trying something new for 30 days is actually a good one. I recommend you watch the video first (it's OK, it's SFW and is only a couple of minutes long) and then have a think about if it's something you could do.

I've decided that starting tomorrow, I will attempt the 'take one photo a day' one. This should be easy as I always have my (new!) phone on me, and the camera is frankly awesome. If I can stick at that, who knows what other challenges I could do?

Thoughts / comments to the usual address....

Quality not quantity

Ok, so straight away I'm contradicting myself from yesterday. I've decided that I WON'T be posting every day (apart from yesterday and today, obviously). I think the problem I had before was that I would attempt to post something every day - even when I didn't really have anything to say. This led to an overload on my blog and me boring the pants off those of you that have been reading for a while. My better posts were those that were published with something to say or a point to make or a good ol' fashioned rant, and that doesn't necessarily happen every day. This decision will hopefully take the pressure off me a bit and make for a better blog. So this post is to explain that to you all. I will be trying to strike a good balance between nothing posted for ages and posting every day. I hope you can bear with me and will appreciate the quality over the quantity.

Aythankyou.

Peace.

New job, new start

Previously on iSimon...

Our hero started a job working from home, thinking it would lead to bigger and brighter things. Unfortunately, this was not the case and so he entered into a period of depression, misery and darkness, the only saving grace (apart from the periods spent with friends and family) being his no. 1 son. The job turned out to be a career mistake and our hero looked doomed. But faint heart never won fair lady and so after a few interviews and some serious talking to by his inner self, we find him embarking on a new career, with a surprising but none the less pleasant return of a former favourite...

That's a very flowery way of saying I'm back. I have a new job, and decided that I would try one more time to enrich the lives of those who read this blog. It will be the usual combination of observations, moans, confessions and nonsense. I hope that those of you who are still around will keep reading, (and thank you for your patience) and to those new readers... Welcome. I will make every attempt to update daily, so stay tuned.

Coming up - the joys of commuting into London, the new people I'm working with, and how much weight have I really lost?

Really angry

Right, I was all ready to record some stuff tonight. I've been to the pub and had a couple of drinks to get me mellow and relax my voice. I'd been inspired by reading Q magazine and I thought I could produce some good stuff tonight. And then I got home, set the laptop up with the recording software on it, poured myself a glass of wine, got the mike stand out - and it's knackered. Cue trying to fix the mike stand, getting more angry and annoyed, and now I'm several steps past mellow with a headache and feeling really hacked off.
So no - no recording tonight. Instead I have an evening of shite tv and bubbling rage to contend with. FML.

I don't want my soul stolen

So this is nothing like what I had planned to blog about but it's what I've been thinking about last night and this morning. My aversion to being photographed.
Now I know a lot of people feel similar to me in that they don't think they are very photogenic and would rather avoid appearing in a picture but I don't know anyone who has such a fear and loathing of it. Most people when push comes to shove will appear in a photo (not the "just pop your clothes on the chair" sort) even if they do complain a little. Whereas I will do anything to avoid it. One of the things that Jakes mum levelled at me during our break up was that she was disappointed she didn't have more pictures of us as a family to look back on and I must admit that I also wish I had more pictures of us together or of with me Jake - but this is not some conscious decision I made to think "I will not appear in pictures". It's just a fundamental part of my character that I cannot change.
I don't know where this started - I mean as a kid there are lots of pictures of me but in later life something changed in me and to this day I feel like a member of one of those Aboriginal tribes who think that every photograph taken takes a bit of your soul. Now obviously I know this isn't true but to try and make you understand, if someone wanted to do something to you that made you feel like it was stealing part of your soul wouldn't you want to avoid it? (Again, I KNOW photography doesn't steal part of your soul, so please don't focus on that part!)
I suppose all you amateur head doctors out there will point to a lack of self confidence, low self esteem, and a belief that I am not attractive and maybe that's part of it - however I know people who feel similar things but are still comfortable in front of a camera so that can't be the whole reason can it?
All I know is that I have taken some extreme measures to avoid being photographed in the past - every time a camera was pointed at me I would stick two fingers up in front of my face. People around me soon learned that if they didn't want a ruined picture they wouldn't include me.
I've timed group photos in such a way that I'm always either in the loo, in a different part of the house, or the one behind the camera.
Most recently someone was taking photos around the office before I left my last job and as soon as I saw the camera pointed towards out teams desks I hid under my desk! I shit you not.
Oh, but taking photos? No problems. I've helped strangers who wanted a group shot, things like that, and I actually compose quite good shots. But me in front of a camera? I want my (albeit tarnished) soul kept where it's supposed to be thank you.
Have a nice weekend all.

Mid-life crisis

I was thinking as I was drifting off last night and I have started to understand why men enter a mid-life crisis and now easy it would be to succumb to one.
My body is not how it used to be - it's done some hard miles in these 38 years and bits are growing that I don't want to grow, going missing when I want to keep them, and generally changing in a most unpleasant way.
I can understand now how men (and probably some women) approach a point in their lives when they think "enough is enough". They realise that they will never be as slim, as fit, as attractive & young looking as they used to be and they react against it.
With men it's usually different clothes, expensive toys or letching after younger women. With women it's too much makeup, tummy tucks & boob jobs, and lusting after toy boys. (I know, there are some MASSIVE generalisations there but you get the picture...).
I'm starting to accept these home truths about myself now and I'm fighting against them with every fibre of my being. Don't worry - I'm not gonna start growing a comb over or buying a motorbike or chasing 21 year old girls because a) I don't have enough hair for a comb over b) I can't afford a motorbike and c) I'm not attractive to younger women in the slightest.
But my body is obviously telling me things when my achilles are killing me after playing football, my stomach will not shrink no matter what I do or don't eat, my body takes longer each morning to get started... its almost as if it's saying "accept who you are - you're NOT 25 any more no matter what you might think".
There is still some pride left in me that I don't want to be seen as a chunky, balding, flabby embarrassment of a dad to Jake. I want to still play football next season and walk a round of golf without needing oxygen and mouth-to-mouth by the 15th green. But maybe it's time I stop being so hard on myself and start accepting the shape my body is drifting into. I will never be a fat bastard - I'd chop off my hands to stop me eating before I'd let that happen - but punishing my body unnecessarily seems like a waste of the years I have left on this rock.

So there. A little insight into what I was thinking last night. No real point to the post.

Three days left to go before I leave here and I can't wait. Have a nice Wednesday.